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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Should I allow my 14 year old DD use Youtube?

47 replies

IrishMummy1974 · 29/04/2018 20:37

I haven’t allowed any of my children use the internet except for school projects etc. however my 14 year old DD is begging me to let her use YouTube? I am very wary. She doesn’t have a smartphone (I won’t let her) and has never used the internet unsupervised. She claims she wants to watch the bloggers her friends talk about like Zoella but honestly I’m not sure about them at all?? Advice??

OP posts:

DragonMamma · 29/04/2018 22:39

A joke...surely?! There’s no way on this earth that a 14yo hasn’t been online unsupervised before now. Poor kid.

My 7yo watches Dan TDM videos endlessly and my 11yo has her own account which consists of her making time lapse make up videos and saying ‘hey guys!’ In a ridiculous American accent

BackInTime · 30/04/2018 09:25

I suspect either your DD is leading a very sheltered life or she’s already had access to this stuff through her friends at school or at their houses. I know parents who think their teens are not on social media when actually they just set up accounts that their parents know nothing about. Better to let them use it with guidance then to have them sneak around doing something that you know nothing about.

peachescariad · 01/05/2018 12:53

What century are you living in??...I feel sorry for your isolated kids

squeaver · 01/05/2018 12:58

You're right to be wary, OP. I mean you should check out those Zoella videos for yourself. I've never seen such scenes of moral degradation and blusher.

Wildlingofthewest · 01/05/2018 12:59

The internet is part of life now, there’s massive advantages to using it from every aspect. It can be a great tool. Your daughter will be using the internet whether you like it or not. You need to cut the cord and allow her to grow up a bit. Get robust filters set up on the computer and have the computer in a communal part of the house so that you can monitor what she’s doing but allow her to go on it. Engage with her, let her show you the sites she want to go on and show an interest in it. You can’t stop her from having access to the internet forever, and nor should you.

Psychobabble123 · 01/05/2018 13:01

Christ OP, unclench and let them use the sodding internet!

JustaLittlePrick · 05/05/2018 00:56

YouTube is banned in our house but June are younger. I am if the view that the internet is a necessary evil in the modern age but that it is hugely damaging to our children and most parents just don't seem to care.

thetriangleisarealinstrument · 05/05/2018 01:02

I dont let my child on youtube but hes a toddler!
I think at 14 if its just watching and not making videos then its probably completely fine.
Its just like TV really if all she wants to watch is stuff like Zoella.
No its not the most educationally stimulating stuff but its no worse than makeover shows on the tv etc.
There are parental settings you can put on to make sure she has no access to adult material. In fact I think if you dont have a youtube account and are just watching you would not be able to access any adult rated material on it anyway.

thetriangleisarealinstrument · 05/05/2018 01:04

I think the settings are pretty strict as well.. I had to sign in as 18 to watch some childbirth breathing technique videos that werent even remotely graphic, recently!

gluteustothemaximus · 05/05/2018 01:09

I feel bad also.

My 2 year old watches 'toob' as he calls it.

mathanxiety · 05/05/2018 03:10

You need to address your anxiety (i.e. get a grip) or you will end up with a daughter who will never confide in you, never have any confidence in your ability to handle her life's ups and downs in a sensible, practical way, and who will be incredibly lonely and feel a huge sense of loss.

You (and she) will be lucky if she doesn't end up making silly decisions or walking into unsavoury situations that she can't deal with, just because she has no experience of using her own judgement or because she has no faith in yours.

Please unclench.

jambot · 14/05/2018 11:12

My daughter has been on YouTube since she was 12. She has a number of YouTubers she watches, including Zoella and Alfie Deyes (Zoella's boyfriend). I started watching these channels to check the content and now I also watch them daily! I think the two mentioned above are very good role models for our children. Hard working, principled and kind. Nothing in the content to worry about. YouTube is generally quite controlled content and I have never actually seen anything unsuitable on there. My daughter actually has her own YouTube channel. She posts slime videos and general chatty videos. I am amazed at how much confidence she has in talking to the camera.

jambot · 14/05/2018 11:15

What? Zoella is morally degrading? I think you've got the wrong YouTuber. Zoella is a wholesome as apple pie. She doesn't drink, smoke or party. She is a very sweet person who posts totally unobjectionable content.

squeaver · 14/05/2018 13:06

Totally disagree, jambot. I believe sometimes she talks about stationery. And she lives in Brighton. I don't want my child to be exposed to that sort of perverted content.

Nb65988 · 26/05/2018 14:29

Jeez she's 14 she should be allowed YouTube what u think she's going to do on it my children both go on they are 7and 1 0 and all her friends will have phone ure way overprotective she's14 ure holding her bsck

SluttyButty · 26/05/2018 14:43

Kids really do need to learn to self regulate. What are you going to do when she goes off to uni and doesn't have the skills to use social media.
My 12 yr old uses YouTube, usually the most mindnumbingly boring scooting people droning on about their very boring new bars and wheels they've just put on.
I use YouTube myself to learn how to apply makeup at 50 so I don't look like I'm in drag.

LaCucarachaa · 28/05/2018 11:23

This is insane, are you her parent or a dictator?
Let her grow up a little, she's 14 not 4.

rainingcatsanddog · 28/05/2018 11:48

Watch an episode of Zoella. Her videos are of her baking, taking care of pets, showing off her hauls or talking about makeup. There is no swearing or crude talk.

I'm gobsmacked that your 14 year old isn't allowed YouTube and still fully supervised. Has she at least got a smartphone and secret Snapchat/Instagram accounts 😈 Do you have other children? I can't imagine making time in my routine to supervise my kids having an hour or two of Internet every day.

rainingcatsanddog · 28/05/2018 11:49

I bet she watches constant YT at other people's houses or on other people's phones. Is there a reason for the control?

Pictureiswonky · 28/05/2018 18:11

I hope she's not thinking of working on marketing or anything media related. I can't imagine how the conversation would go of I was interviewing a young person for work experience and they told me they don't have free access to the internet

gillybeanz · 28/05/2018 18:15

As long as you steer them in the right direction and keep them away from the usual teen drivel that's spouting up.

I don't think you can avoid it tbh, but asking what she wants it for and putting some boundaries in place is fine.

Mine watches and listens to music and performances and has her own private channel where she puts her own recordings.

gillybeanz · 28/05/2018 18:16

Ha Ha, the meaningless time wasting of Zoella and the likes is what I'd advise against.
There are little clones of her all over the place and girls growing up with no imagination at all.

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