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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Am I being too strict?

42 replies

Kararara · 24/04/2018 21:25

My 15 yr old son had an invite to go see a movie that has a midnight preview on a Thursday night so starting at midnight plus the 2 hours 40 mins of the movie plus ads, trailers then travel back home meant he would be back earliest 3:10 am Friday morning. He is expected in school the next day then has a D of E practice walk and camp on the Saturday. Am I being too strict saying that he can't go? To me this is crazy late not only for a 15yr old but in a school night too. Would love to hear what everyone thinks...? Honestly I am amazed the other kids parents even considered it. Am I wrong?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 24/04/2018 21:28

Not a chance! My eldest has just got back from D of E. He's shattered. Who's bringing him home at 3am?!

HeresMeh · 24/04/2018 21:32

@Kararara I mean, if it was any other film I'd say no way, but this is obviously for Avengers: Infinity War which is the biggest deal in comic book/ teenager world at the moment...

It's not ideal, but it would only be one day of being a bit tired... Smile

Justmuddlingalong · 24/04/2018 21:32

At the weekend would be ok. Definitely not on a school night. Nope, never, no way. So no, YANB too strict.

Original poster
Kararara · 24/04/2018 21:34

The other kids mom. She doesn't work. He would wake the house up getting in too I'm sure. It's kinda nuts. I don't want to be uncool but this seems crazy.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 24/04/2018 21:34

It's not just one day though is it? He will be shattered the next day, may be too tired to complete D of E and then no chance to recover before next week. Not a chance.

BewareOfDragons · 24/04/2018 21:34

Nope. No way. I wouldn't allow it in this house.

TokyoSushi · 24/04/2018 21:35

Hmmm, I might be tempted, but only on the understanding that he went to bed at 8pm or something on the Friday night!

Can you tell I don't have a clue about teenagers yet?!

sparklefluff · 24/04/2018 21:36

I would let him. It's a one off, it's a big thing.

Justgivemesomepeace · 24/04/2018 21:37

That would be a no from me. I always considered myself a laid back parent until dd turned 15 and started to want to go to parties. I can't get my head around what some parents allow at this age.

SkippedReception · 24/04/2018 21:39

I would like to say that this is beyond ridiculous, and would have said so when my DC were smaller. But they are now teenagers. And compared to the bizarre crap that mine come up with, I'd say yes to this one.

Original poster
Kararara · 24/04/2018 21:40

I get it, but it's just a movie. He's 15. It's really not going to make much difference if he waits a few hours surely....?

OP posts:
errorofjudgement · 24/04/2018 21:40

Nope not too strict at all- though I think that if it was just the film and it was something he’s really keen on then I would probably have agreed as a one off,
However, with a weekend of DofE, then no chance. Not only will he be really tired, but it’s also unfair to his team mates. No one wants to spend the weekend lugging heavy bags across the countryside with a tired and grumpy team mate!

SkippedReception · 24/04/2018 21:41

We are a year beyond you, and the current dispute discussion is about alcohol at birthday parties. I wish it were just about a film and a late night!

SkippedReception · 24/04/2018 21:42

Also. D of E. You are doing so much spectacularly right. That being the case, I'd give in on the film. If he's knackered, it's his problem...

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2018 21:43

Let him go. Honestly. This stuff is a big deal at that age.

BertrandRussell · 24/04/2018 21:44

Really early night on Friday and he’ll be fine for Saturday.

Orlandointhewilderness · 24/04/2018 21:45

i'd let him go.

babydreamer1 · 24/04/2018 21:46

It's not sensible, but it's a one off and obviously important to him, let him go. He's 15 not 5 and if he's tired the next day or on his walk he only has himself to blame! As PP said, just agree that he goes to bed early the night before and after. Come Monday he'll have caught up and be fine. Plus you'll be the coolest mum ever Wink

nobutreally · 24/04/2018 21:51

I've got a 12 and a 14 yo, and am generally strict.

If he agreed to go to bed VERY early on Friday, and got homework done efficiently before Thurs (so I didn't have to get a grumpy tired teenager to do his weekend's worth of homework on Friday) I'd consider it. Although I would also see if there was any way of persuading him a Friday night showing would be good (e.g. I'd offer free food for him + couple of mates if they swop to that one)

But that might be because I'm quite excited about infinity war too ;-)

lifechangesforever · 24/04/2018 21:51

As it's for the Avengers, yes I would
Only reason I'm not going at midnight is because I have no one for the dogs Grin

Woshambo · 24/04/2018 22:00

@lifechangesforever same!!!!

Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople · 24/04/2018 22:01

Just one question, are you in the UK? If so then the film is actually released on Thursday so the first showing is 12am on Thursday morning/Wednesday eve? thats when I'm going Smile

Ohyesiam · 24/04/2018 22:02

If it was for something that meant a lot to him, I d say yes. Of it was just any old movie, no.

Original poster
Kararara · 24/04/2018 22:07

Am going to have a chat with him and let him decide. If he is mature enough to go then he is mature enough to deal with the consequences.... we will see what he chooses......

OP posts:
Janus · 24/04/2018 22:15

You know, I’m pretty strict but sometimes you have to let the odd thing go! I have no idea what the movie is but assume it would be pretty amazing to see it on opening night so if the other Mum is willing to pick up (I’d check with her that is the arrangement) I’d do it and then I’d set my alarm and get up and slide them into bed! It’ll be a nightmare for getting up but it sounds like it may be worth it. But yes, bed at 8pm the next day so can manage the DofE.