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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Urgent Advice Please! 16 YO Daughter Left Home After Mass Fallout!

8 replies

Arsenal123 · 21/04/2018 09:56

Hi all

My brother's daughter has left home after months of arguments.

This mostly surrounds her behaviour - she is hanging out with a bad crowd and frequently comes home intoxicated and at all hours.

He tells me she has been lying compulsively and her ex-boyfriend informed him that they had split up due to her promiscuity and cheating.

Following this, my brother and his daughter had a heated row two days ago and it emerged that she was bisexual and has been hanging out with an older woman ( a 29 YO single mother of 1) who she is reportedly staying with and having a casual relationship. There have been rumours that this woman, who has a 2 year old child, is a drug taker and has a habit of taking advantage of youngsters but there is no evidence other than what others have told us. It cannot be taken as fact on this basis though.

What can we do? Legally ? For the best?

She's somewhat out of control from what I can tell and my brother is now experiencing poor mental health for which he is seeing a specialist. We are technically half siblings and his mother recently died so he was already in counselling for bereavement. I'm worried this will tip him over the edge.

A little more background:

I didn't grow up knowing my brother well and it emerged later when we became close as adults that he always felt unwanted /out of place / or an inconvenience to my father's new family which was a painful truth to hear.

As history has a habit of doing, the relationship of my brother and his 16 YO daughter's mother didn't work out. He is with someone else now and has two additional kids. This had me wondering if the 16 YO also felt similar feelings of alienation / not belonging.

Can anyone advise on potential steps towards a solution before something catastrophic happens please?

OP posts:
Veterinari · 21/04/2018 10:19

Could you contact your niece and invite her to stay with you until things settle down?

It sounds rather like she needs some security and stability

Arsenal123 · 21/04/2018 10:32

That may be a good idea

OP posts:
StabbyBitchTheEvilWitch · 21/04/2018 11:01

Agree with the above, a change of scenery could be great for your niece. I would give her a call and just be there for her. It's hard being a teenage girl at the best of times but she sounds like she has a lot going on and could use a female adults input.

Caulk · 21/04/2018 11:05

What support does she have?

She’s a teenager, working out who she is, what the boundaries are, where here value comes from etc. She needs supportive and safe places to talk.

Arsenal123 · 21/04/2018 11:59

No reply from her as yet: FB, SMS and call.

OP posts:
NC4Now · 21/04/2018 13:30

If she’s staying with a 29-year-old you can get the police involved. They will offer advice at the very least, but may be able to issue a warning to the woman.

NC4Now · 21/04/2018 13:33

A bit of legal advice - see the third section (Child Abduction Notices)

paceuk.info/for-parents/advice-centre/disruption-tools-available-police/

Nb65988 · 26/05/2018 17:21

Omg id die if I found out my 16 year old was sleeping about and the fact an older woman of that age is sleeping with my daughter if I was ure brother leave his other problems jyst now and go get his daughter from that woman who thinks sex with a just legal girl is acceptable ure brother has clearly took his eye of the ball along time ago with his daughter she does not turn out this wild in 1 weekend

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