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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Messy teenager - help me decide?

5 replies

Blackcat11 · 20/04/2018 22:08

I'm sure many of you have been in this situation, so I am looking to you for advice. My son is 18 next week, he doesn't see his dad, I have brought him up mainly on my own. He is a rebel and does things he shouldn't, but has managed to avoid ever bringing trouble to the door. My main issue at the moment is his sheer laziness, he doesn't contribute anything to the house at all and sees it all as my job as mum. I work more hours than him and he leaves such a mess everywhere, but won't clean it up. He never washes dishes or empties bins or anything. He doesn't pay rent as he is paying me back a debt he owes (very slowly). I get really wound up when the kitchen is a mess and he just laughs, I leave it for as long as I can and normally end up doing it. So, my question is...
a) Do I just give in and do all the cleaning and tidying and stop nagging him (I would have more work but probably more peace, but I would be teaching him a bad lesson) ... or
b) carry on as I have been doing - losing my shit when I come home and see the mess he's left . Live like that for a couple of days, while nagging, shouting and general falling out, then mostly end up doing it myself anyway as I can't stand it

OP posts:
privateporcupine · 20/04/2018 22:24

Who cooks and does the washing? If it’s you, I’d stop until he gets his act together. Restrict his WiFi access, even stop doing the food shopping, other than for yourself. His attitude towards you is awful.

Blackcat11 · 20/04/2018 22:54

I've stopped cooking, mainly because my (new) job means I don't get home till 10pm. I don't do his washing, but he still thinks I should. I told him today I wouldn't be buying any more food if he can't wash up when he eats it (I eat at work). I don't know how to change him? Or should I just stop stressing and do it myself?

OP posts:
elephantoverthehill · 20/04/2018 23:03

Blackcat11 yes, stop buying the food.

NorthernSpirit · 21/04/2018 08:27

He sounds entitled. Stop doing it and let him realise you’re not his slave. At 18 years old and working he needs to man up. God help any woman he ends up with.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/04/2018 10:36

I agree with @Northern. If you pay for the WiFi, I’d change the password too. Perhaps that will help him see reason.

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