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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Leaving ds18 home alone for 2 weeks

21 replies

Aroundtheworldandback · 11/04/2018 22:20

I know 18’s an adult, but this one will game 24/7, eat no meals only junk food, and not see another soul and I just don’t think it’s good for him. It’s in the summer and we will be away. What do you think?

OP posts:

DrMadelineMaxwell · 11/04/2018 22:23

Shrugs.

When I'm on holiday I sit on my bum reading for as much as possible, eat and drink what I like and only socialise on my terms. It could be a 'do what you like' holiday for your dc.

My dd would love it. And I would have no concerns that she'd get up to anything rowdy so would happily leave her.

Whatsforu · 11/04/2018 22:27

Sounds like heaven from his point of view. Stop worrying you can't control his every move and why would you want to?

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 11/04/2018 22:27

We left DS at 17 for a week, he is reasonably sensible and a real foodie so I knew he would use the opportunity to create culinary masterpieces rather than gorge on pizza and kebabs, but I wasn't convinced he would go to college every day. As it happens he got bored and took himself off to stay with his grandparents for a couple of days, and there were no dramas or wild parties. I would say 18 is definitely old enough to be left for 2 weeks - if you trust them to go on holiday with friends at 18, then surely they can be left Home?

Namelesswonder · 11/04/2018 22:34

Seriously, an 18 year old man and your worried he can’t look after himself? So what if he eats junk food and plays games all day - do you intend to be by his side 24/7 forever? How will he ever learn if you don’t give him the chance to do so?

Original poster

Aroundtheworldandback · 14/04/2018 14:17

I’d be fine with a week (and so would he) but as his friends will all be away there’s no doubt he’ll be gaming day and night. I just feel 2 weeks is a long time to go not seeing another person and as a mother you don’t stop caring the day they turn 18.

If I thought he’d use the time to learn to look after himself I’d be pushing for it myself, however ds is a gaming addict so unfortunately that isn’t going to happen.

OP posts:

Purplehammer · 14/04/2018 14:25

Sounds like you need to find a child minder for your own peace of mind.

TinaTop · 14/04/2018 14:38

Sounds like heaven! I'd love a fortnight of playing games and eating pizza! Why is it such a bad thing if he enjoys it and doesn't do it all the time?

Original poster

Aroundtheworldandback · 14/04/2018 14:49

Tina, that is exactly what he does all the time..

OP posts:

PinkCalluna · 14/04/2018 15:02

I think if your 18 yo is a gaming addict who would voluntarily go a fortnight without speaking to another soul then with respect your issue is not this holiday...

LiteraryDevil · 14/04/2018 15:24

Hide his console before you go. That will force him to make better use of his time and brain. Can't stand gaming and the way it takes over lives. But I think 18 is perfectly fine to be on his own for 2 weeks. Good practice for when at uni or living on his own. Enjoy your holiday.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 14/04/2018 15:29

Also with respect, what pinkcalluna said. Presumably he games when you're at home, otherwise how would u know he does it 24/7 ?

Original poster

Aroundtheworldandback · 14/04/2018 18:33

I hear you PinkCalluna. He’s not at it 24/7 generally but there was a point when things were so bad he was. He now has a girlfriend who’s a great influence on him and makes sure he isn’t! But she won’t be around then and I suppose I’m worried about him slipping back into bad habits!

OP posts:

simbobs · 14/04/2018 18:40

If my DS were like yours I wouldn't worry. My 17 yr old (and it will be no different when he is 18) would be unable to prevent parties occurring at our house in our absence by foolishly letting all and sundry in his various chat groups know that he was alone. I would stock the fridge and freezer with easily accessible food and enjoy the break. You never know, he may surprise you.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 14/04/2018 18:41

At 18 I had a flat and a dc.
You do your ds's gf no favours raising a man child.

Original poster

Aroundtheworldandback · 14/04/2018 18:42

Don’t worry Simbobs, I have a daughter like your soon too! Should be an interesting couple of weeks here...

OP posts:

FrancisCrawford · 14/04/2018 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VioletCharlotte · 14/04/2018 18:59

I've got an 18 year old DS too OP so I know just how you feel. I'm not sure if I'd be happy to leave him alone for
2 weeks either. I know this seems silly to many people, but as you say, as a Mum you don't stop worrying when they turn 18!

PinkCalluna · 14/04/2018 19:20

Could you encourage him to get a summer job?

It would get him out of the house and talking to other people.

blueskyinmarch · 14/04/2018 19:37

Blimey at 18 mine were away to uni and doing whatever they wanted. Yes they ate shit food, drank too much and made mistakes but it was all part of the growing up process. If he games for two weeks and eats crap it won't kill him. Just go and leave him to it.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 15/04/2018 10:56

I wouldn't worry about this, he can treat it as a 'do what you like hols' like the PP said. to be fair, most holidays are over-eating and chilling aren't they.

I've got the opposite problem - friends have invited us away for a week in September and I'm very hesitant to leave my 17 year old DD as I'm scared she'll have parties and the house will be trashed. Not necessarily her fault, but if she lets slip that she's home alone and friends invite 'friends' etc, it can easily get out of hand.

The people who have invited us to go away just don't get it at all though, not having teens themselves ... dilemma.

Original poster

Aroundtheworldandback · 15/04/2018 11:16

FrancisCrawford good idea but wouldn’t work with my ds, we have all those things now but he’s developed a taste for junk food, unfortunately he has money and will just order it.

PinkCalluna he has no interest in getting a job I’ve tried that one. BogSandyBalls I do sympathise as left dd when she was 17 for a week. Upon our return, dh asked the man who cleaned the cars when we were away if he had seen our dd or ds that morning. He replied “I saw many dd’s and many ds’s” Strangely enough, the house was cleaner than when we left!

OP posts:

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