Terrible attitude about going to the tutor

[Lostinspace84]

My 15 year old son is very behind at school and struggles hugely - likely to fail his GCSE Maths particularly.

So we are paying a tutor to help him - she's amazing, but £30 per hour. It's a lot of money, especially as we have 5 children, but we are willing to pay this to help him.

However, his attitude about it STINKS

Every week, he gets stroppy hours before he goes, crashes about, sulks, begs not to go. All because he hates having to work hard and get off his Xbox!

His attitude was so bad today and I have punished him. But I'm wondering what other mums do in this situation? I'm tempted to throw the towel in with it, but my parents say he will be grateful one day and will be mortified about how rude he is when we are trying to help him.

What would you do?

Make X box in the week ahead contingent on positively engaging with the tutor?

Without fuss or negativity

X box only at weekends.
If he fails his maths he will be retaking it year after year. It's so much harder to do retakes than it is to pass when at school with all the effort they put in to Y10/Y11s.

What does he want to do after his GCSE's? My son pulled his finger out and began to make some effort in his school work when he realised his choice of college and course would be extremely limited if he didn't get a pass in Maths and English. If he didn't pass maths he would never get a good job earning good money. The effort had to come from him, you have done all you can do. Thankfully the penny has dropped with my son and he seems to be studying.

I guess it is easier to fail without putting the effort in, rather than putting the effort in and still failing? Maybe that is behind the behaviour?
It has already been said, but he is going to have endless retakes if he can't be bothered. Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit and appreciate the extra money you are spending, to help him.

Is there pocket money/phone something you can withdraw if his attitude is lacking?
Working with a tutor is very intense. You can’t fly under the radar if you don’t get something like you can in class. Would he do better with two half hour sessions rather than a whole one?
You are right to think a maths gcse is essential and to insist he’s respectful of your effort and investment in his future.

Maybe his tutor is a complete twat

I’ve been through the same and it’s unbelievably irritating. Luckily the tutors came to us so I could see who was decent and who wasn’t. Still, he protested about the really good one (didn’t want Xbox, just wanted to sleep). It got him through his exams though and I’m fairly confident he would have failed without the extra help. Just keep telling him not to be so ungrateful and tell yourself it will be worth it one day hopefully. Does he work when the tutor is with his? How do you know she is amazing?

Maybe he doesn't want to be tutored, none of mine would have liked extra tuition.
If he doesn't want to engage then you might as well throw your money down the grid for what good it will do.

Thanks everyone.

She's highly regarded round here and has a long waiting list. I've sat in a few of her lessons with him and she's patient and kind but keeps the pace going. She's taught him things that he simply didn't 'get' at school.

I've made my son aware that he only gets his Xbox from now on dependent on his attitude towards his tutoring and school work. He's worked much harder this week.

Tell him to suck it up. My 15yo son not so happy about going to GCSE English tutor - I've told him he can hate me all he likes till his GCSE's are over - daft thing is he always says he likes it after he's been and it's helping a lot! It's just a dance they have to do before they do anything they are not that keen on. His X Box is out of his room also till GCSE are over, he can play it downstairs when works has been done, but not locked away in his room!