Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Misophonia/Autism/Hormones

5 replies

vdbfamily · 30/03/2018 14:40

My youngest who will be 12 this year is so difficult at the moment I am wondering if she could be autistic. She is extremely bright, getting 'excellence' in all but a couple of subjects in school report. She is in the process of setting up her second on-line business, firstly selling home made slime and this time selling squishies. She does this with no help from us. However......her behaviour is appalling. The misophonia means she cannot eat with us(chewing noises), sit with us as a family(breathing noises) . She will take every conversation very personally and refuse to let you finish what you want to say as she will make an assumption about what you mean. Yesterday she got an amazing school report but was disappointed as she got a few goods instead of excellent for effort/homework(even though the achievement level was excellence). We told her it was a fantastic report but she would not accept we meant this. Later she sat and played me 3 notes on the guitar(she has had 2 terms of weekly lessons and I have never heard her practice at home). I must have looked a bit disappointed because she then started ranting about how I thought she was rubbish at the guitar. I avoided answering but asked her if she thought she was good at guitar and whether she has been practicing. She is fixated on how I think she is rubbish and then accuses me of thinking she is rubbish at everthing.
She thinks she is ugly(this may just be an 11 year old girl thing) and she really is not but as well as telling her how beautiful she is, I also tell her that the most important thing is to be lovely on the inside.
She stuggles withfriendships and also being sociable and at family events she will often choose to be on her own.
I think my husband is probably autistic but not dignosed.
I don't know if there is any point trying to get a diagnosis/eliminate the diagnosis.
Any suggestions/advice, it makes home life very hard for all of us

OP posts:
HC4U · 30/03/2018 16:51

Hi, I have a little experience of this with my son who is on the spectrum for aspergers and is dyspraxic. First of all she is still quite young and taking all of her additional needs out of the equation she could just be a shy and unconfident individual. Throw in the additional needs and of course the hormones and it all seems so escalated. What we found that having a diagnosis does help and even though we needed a lot of support for the dyspraxia in terms of OT, Physio, Neurologist etc. The help of a psychologist was the thing that helps us on a daily basis to deal with the melt downs, the anxieties, the on their own, not fitting in, the world not the way they want it. One piece of advise we got and we do go back to it time and time again is for you as a family take a step back, deep breath and take things slow again. Pick your battles. Keep encouraging, keep rewarding with praise, treats and extra hugs when things get a big tough. Your reactions feed off theirs and vice vearsa. Get something she really enjoys doing and make that the go too thing regularly. It could be going for a coffee with Mum every Sat. morning or after the guitar lessons. Let her rant and just keep praising and raising her confidence. Ironically I too have posted a post today re. confidence in my daughter and I see the lack of confidence so much as my kids have gotton older. I often say if you cannot fix it with Cal**l it usually is a problem. Remember when they had the green noses and it was nearly the end of the worldSmile. I would bring her to the doctor to role your concerns out more than in. Finally you mention she is so bright, she could also be bored at school and at home, she may need to be challenged a little bit more, gently of course, maybe suggest a subject she really loves that you could get her an extra book on the topic and she could do a little extra every day. Or if she has a younger sibling, she could get paid pocket money to help them with their homework. Best of luck!

TerfsUp · 30/03/2018 17:25

I have autism and, to be honest, it sounds more like adolescent hormones / moods/ introversion than autism. For example, you haven't said anything about making eye contact or social imagination.

vdbfamily · 30/03/2018 21:41

thanks both for advice. She does definitely not have the social engagement issues her father does who finds it very hard to make eye contact and has always preferred to go off and hang out with the kids than make adult conversation at family get togethers.
I think it is just fairly extreme misophonia with hormones added but I cannot get school or GP to take it seriously or refer on to paediatric audiology. Not really sure where to go next, or do I just accept she eats seperately, misses out on family films and spends most of her time in her bedroom with earphones on.

OP posts:
Zebrasmummy · 31/03/2018 20:21

If you can it might be worth watching the Channel 4 (UK) documentary shown the othe day. It was called "Are you autistic". Not everything covered, but a good start point and for what it's worth I'd be looking into possible autism with your DD.

BrownTurkey · 31/03/2018 20:35

I came across this today a great resource about late diagnosed women with autism

www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/women_late_diagnosis_autism

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread