What time do 15 year olds go to bed?

[fairyjay]

My ds is convinced that we are wicked parents, pushing him off to bed at 9.30 pm.
He is woken at 6.15 am for school, and doesn't get home until after 7 pm. What's the norm? I should say that he is naturally an early riser - rarely is he in bed later than 8 am at weekends and holidays.

It's interesting that several people have written that 15 is old enough to make own decisions about bedtime etc. A lot of my friends share that opinion about all sorts of issues (what they eat/drink (alcohol) /watch on tv/time spent on computer etc) . My son has just turned 14. I am worried that I am being overcontrolling, perhaps not allowing him to grow up, but can't help but feel that they still need parental guidance at this age. For example, if we didn't impose some kind of bedtime, he'd be up till all hours, and then overtired at school. Can anyone help me work through this - ie how much parental control is too much at this age?

I allow my 16 year old some flexibilty however, I do tell him when to go, because as you say, if left to his own devices he wouldn't go till the early hours of the morning!

I didn't have a problem with alcohol for my 15 year olds (none of them liked it). I didn't encourage it other than at a family party (very rare), New Year.

My eldest is 20 yrs old and i have not had a backlash of him out drinking all night because of alcohol deprivation

my 14.5 yo who goes to bed at 10.30 is allowed quite a lot of freedom to make his own decisions. However, when we feel he's pushing for too much, (as sometimes happens), we just reign him in a bit and remind him that if he wants to keep pushing TOO far, we'll reduce the amount of freedom he has. After a bit of teenage sulking, he normally conforms.
He's mainly good.
Think he's due an early night tho...was yawning his head of this morn, so he's in for a shock tonight when I tell him.lol

Thanks Stephanie, I think that's a great approach. To pick up on the alcohol thing...
we have a group of friends we socialise with a lot (camping weekends etc) and we have hit a sticky issue with alcohol. Some of the parents have a "no limit and if they are sick, they will learn" approach (interestingly, one of those mums is a GP, another a teacher), whereas I think 14 is too young to be allowed to get in that state, not least because of the effect on developing organs. We don't ban alcohol (preferred approach of two of the other families), on the basis that they have to learn a responsible attitude, and banning it altogether will make it more attractive. But I feel it irresponsible to allow free access, and it pained me to see a yr 9 girl throwing her guts up and being carried home after a Christmas party (which her parents attended too), and the hosts' daughter put to bed comatose (although she is 16)and apparently was sick in her bed during the night. Parents' view? One of life's lessons. I guess we all have our own rules and have to do what we think is right for our own kids. Not sure I'm asking anyone a question here, just good to share the situation with people not directly involved, as we have a weekend away coming up and I'm sure this will be an issue again. Thanks to anyone who's "listening"!

i was always allowed to drink alcohol and yes to the point where in year 9 i was passed out (although being an august baby was only 13 ) it takes quite a lot to get me drunk these days and i think thats down to the fact i drank from a young age. it means unlike a lot of my friends when we go out i know what is happening and don't get myself into sticky situations.

thanks nappyaddict, good to hear it from "the other side". You make some good points. Perhaps I'm just neurotic!

DD3 is 15 and she goes to bed at 10pm on School nights and 10.30 on weekends and school holidays. She does stay up later if sheis doing anything special. DD2 is 17 and she chooses her own bedtime she has being doing this scince she was 16 as did DD1.
We did think that dd2 would stay up all hours when she was allowed to choose her own bedtime. Because she was alway trying to push the boundries of bedtime when she had one. But in fact although she does stay up late sometimes she is usually in bed by 11.30 at the latest and often goes to bed by 10 an college nights.

I'm one of those parents who allow their kids a small drink with us at the weekend. NOt every weekend mind, and just a SMALL drink.

My 14.5 yo is not really interested in it, but my 12.5yo likes a wee drink with us. They also have a glass of champagne with us at Christmas and New Yearand any other special ocassions.(I do like a drop of the bubbly stuff so don't always need an excuse to drink it )
I allowed them to have a wee drink thinking that if I banned it, it would make it seem more attractive to them.

I did see something on the news yesterday about kids who are allowed drinks at home with parents are the ones who are least likely to binge drink.

I certainly would NOT dream of allowing them to decide when they'd had enough. IMO they're not old enough to make that decision sensibly yet. I say when and how much they have. And they're happy with that.

MrsTucky, I agree with you. We also allow DS a small amount of alcohol at weekends with meals (very small glass of wine or half a can of lager). He never drinks it all anyway. Just find it very odd that otherwise intelligent parents in our group have no issue with 14 year olds getting so drunk that they're sick - and yet they make out that we are being too overprotective by not letting our almost 14 year old drink what he wants.