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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

16/17 year olds going to a nightclub

33 replies

cardy1969 · 06/03/2018 11:45

My dd and her friends are doing their A level mocks this week (lower 6th). DD's friends are planning to go to a club in our local city about 5 miles away on Friday night to celebrate them being over. DD is 16 but most of her friends are 17. Understandably DD wants to go with them. They will go to a friends first for 'prinks' then to the club about 11pm. They are not sure what time they will leave but the club closes at 4am!!

I am really reluctant to let her go but don't want her to feel left out by being the only one of 10 who isn't allowed to go. She's been honest with us and told us all the details she knows so far - which club, how they will get there and get home, who is going etc.

She said some of her friend's parents are letting them go (they have older siblings) and some are lying to their parents and staying at friends houses. She said they will have a few drinks before they go out but not much as they don't want to appear drunk and not be allowed in. They can't really afford to buy many drinks in the club. They will need to borrow IDs from friends in upper 6th in case they are asked their age Shock

I used to go to clubs at 16/17 in the days before ID were necessary so feel a bit of a hypocrite not letting her go plus and she'll be off to Uni in 18 months so will need have the independence and experience to look after herself. I'll just worry so much. She went to Leeds Festival last year after her GCSEs finished....and survived without me breathing down her neck.

Please tell me your experiences.

OP posts:
saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 07/03/2018 07:32

DD 17 and her friends have been doing this for about 6 months now. They always get in. I would rather she didn't but I was worried if i said no she would go anyway then if she got in trouble she would be too worried to ask for help. After a few months of going every weekend, it's actually died down - last Saturday they went to cinema and krispy creme as they " couldn't be bothered queing in the cold".

Original poster
cardy1969 · 07/03/2018 09:02

Thanks for the advice. I think I have to make my decision assuming she will get in. As I said, her friends have a few times before. There's no point saying, yes she can go just because I think she won't get in and then she does. I just wanted to hear other parents' thoughts and experiences of their 16/17 yo.

I don't think they are planning to get drunk before they go, just have a couple of ciders. I've never seen evidence of her being drink after parties and they know they won't get in if they draw attention to themselves by being drunk. They just can't afford drinks in the club. I don't think point is to get 'plastered', they could do that at home as you say. It's to have a dance and meet up with friends from college. I totally get that and used to do the same. She's worked really hard to revise for her mocks and spent all of half term revising. She's found it really difficult and stressful at times at college and has had doubts about her abilities for A level, but that's another post...

I'm leaning toward letting her go; I'll have a good talk with her about safety, getting home, staying with friends, not being afraid to call home and staying in touch. It's going to be a long night waiting up....

OP posts:
Doryismyname · 08/03/2018 14:57

Re girls not looking old enough to get in - I’ve seen younger teens with a full face of make up and that could pass for a lot older. It can be very difficult to tell if they are all glammed up. I guess if they pull off the ID and look old enough then they will probably get in.

pilates · 08/03/2018 15:06

I would let her go but she needs to have a plan b in case she doesn’t get in

hotcrossbunsandtea · 08/03/2018 19:51

I often got in underage and I don't think I looked much older than I was. There are still plenty of places that don't check ID.

popcorntime · 20/03/2018 12:22

Did she get in OP?

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 21/03/2018 15:07

I would be fine with this. She sounds sensible, and can always call you if anything goes wrong which it wouldn't.

Strawberry2017 · 21/03/2018 15:44

I think it's good she is being honest with you and talking to you.
Maintain this relationship as much as you can.
Like you say discuss safety etc and make sure if she does call you for any reason don't give her a hard time, and if she is hungover the next day just be supportive.

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