I would love advice with no judgement on how i can deal with an abusive 19 year child.
She's finished school and working full time but still is very much dependent on us. She has extreme melt downs and attacks me semi regularly and I'm not coping well anymore. Her father does occasionally step in and try to help me but he's frightened of her getting even more worked up and tells me to let it go when she is screaming at me and smashing doors and walls and calling me the most horrible names. I've begged him to make her stand on her own two feet but he ignores everything i ask and continues to buy all her food, wont make her contribute to rent or household bills and he gives in to her every demand of driving her everywhere and being her gofer.
Advice I've had from people in my life is to kick her out so she can learn to be self sufficient but I've spoken to her about it and she tells me to eff off, it's her house and she will do as she pleases. She wont leave because she has life so easy at home. I've stopped cleaning up after her and it just piles up and then she gets furious if her clothes aren't clean for work.
Is there someone or an organization i can reach out to that can help me next time she starts getting violent and destructive? I want to fix this but I'm all alone. I'm not getting the police involved, that's not an option. But i am getting desperate. I thought this was a phase when it started 2 years ago but it's become so much worse.