Can I remove my teenagers phone if he bought it himself?

[alexandra009]

My teenage son is addicted to his smartphone.
I would like to remove it from him and replace it with a phone that has basic call and text functions and nothing more, as I am hoping this will be less of a distraction.
However, although he is under 18, he has bought the phone with his own money.
Would it, therefore, be illegal for me to remove the phone from him?

I would take his phone off him. He has just turned 15.

I wouldn't take the phone from him - I'd limit the times he uses it. We have a few hours away from phones every evening, none at meal times and it stays downstairs at night. I think most 15 year olds have a smart phone and they do all use and communicate via snapchat - I think you are being unreasonable to remove it completely.

Hi
My DS 12 got his phone for his 10th bday, it is therefore his. I pay for the contract data & calls only. If his behaviour gets too bad his phone is taken off him for a set amount of time. Once confiscated he usually just gets on with it (& is much nicer for it!). He still has option of communicating with his friends on xbox. Once had a month ban on all technology (sent rude msg to company restricting useage!!!) But he learnt his lesson. Now he knows if I say he's spent too long on it and it's affecting his attitude so he needs to cut down, he does, or risks a ban again. That way he learns himself what is good for him and how to moderate usage. If you think he is addicted, do take it from him for a couple of days, and point out all the positive changes during that time. He'll moan & groan but deep down they are listening! And it's not so bad if they know when they are getting it back, just make sure you don't give in and give it back earlier! Take it, state why and for how long & stick to your guns. Once they know you will, they're a lot more careful a second time. I haven't taken it from him for months now, usually the threat is enough and that's usually for bringing it to the dinner table!
Good luck!

Respond to illegal comment by saying you are not stealing it, but as the adult responsible for his health and wellbeing, you are putting it away for safekeeping until he is responsible enough to use it sensibly, however if he is worried about it losing value, then you are more than happy to sell on his behalf and return the money.

It doesn't matter how good at arguing he is . Nobody is going to take the side of a stroppy teen who claims his Mum has "stolen" his phone.

I wouldn’t take it, because I don’t like the message that gives about what people can do with other people’s property.

I would, however, cut him off from your phone contract if possible/remove something you pay for.

If I were him, I would make sure the phone was on my person 24/7 or hidden somewhere at night, to prevent you taking it.

So, I think your best bet it so ring the contract provider so he can't use it for what he wants.

Then to put it simply - whilst the phone is his you on the sim? Take whats yours !

I would say in theory yes but practically quite tricky. Could you try & 'negotiate' with him over its usage?

The decision to remove your ds's phone is quite drastic in terms of the current generation. He's also quite old - 15 years old is not an adult but you are treating him like a young child...I feel your current course of action increases the risk of your relationship degrading with the inevitable downgrade of your ds's respect for you and your opinions. You know your ds, you can gauge how he will react to having something so intrinsic to modern life removed from him.

If you pay an ongoing contract for him it's your phone as you're the one paying it off, unless he gives u the money. Unless it's fully reliant on him, it's your phone

If you're paying for the contract then you are paying for the phone OP. I'm guessing he paid the upfront cost of the device? Usually between £10-£100 depending on phone rather than the £600-1200 to buy it outright.

If this is the case then a large percentage of the monthly contract cost is for the handset

What do you actually want to stop him doing?

You’re paying the contract therefore any issues with the phone would be your responsibility, any running over the contract situations would be your responsibility. With that in mind, I would say that you can remove the phone without guilt. I’m 31 and my Mam has a no phones when you enter her house rule lol. She has a little tray that you have to put your phone in. All tongue in cheek but we’ve all found we don’t mind relinquishing the phones for a bit.

I wouldn’t remove the phone entirely as it should be about teaching him limits to combat the addiction. Smart phones are everywhere now and he needs to learn how to manage using them. If you take it away completely then he isn’t going to learn and he could just buy another one in a year or two when you will have less influence. I have the same opinion about things like banning sugar completely. It is about finding a healthy balance and your role is to help him achieve that. Temporary removal might help, but not permanent.

Try to open a dialogue with him and see if you can agree a way forward together after saying the other option is permanent removal of the phone. I