Family wedding during GCSE exams - AIBU

[BlueSkyBurningBright]

DD (15) just told me that she has been invited to a wedding in June. The wedding is a cousin of her fathers, who lives in another part of the UK. She is very excited and loves weddings.

I pointed out that it is a weekend in the middle of her GCSE exams, and so she can not go. She will need to be away from Friday to Sunday and will be tired and get no revision that weekend. They are doing the new GCSE curriculum and it is very tough for them. She is predicted A and B's and I want her to do as well as she can. I am sure she knows this as she is a hard working student and keen to get good results.

Ex Dh is saying that she should go to the wedding as it is family, I said that her exams are more important.

AIBU? What would other parents do in the same circumstances.

Are GCSEs counted in uni applications? Pretty sure it was just my alevels that went on my applications. Also remember GCSEs feeling like the most important exams in the world at the time and the meaning nothing the minute we started alevels study.

Being tired won't be an issue unless she's been up half the Sunday night. It shouldn't be too hard for her to be home at a reasonable time that day. Honestly, relax a bit over this. Soon there will be A levels and even university where you'll have no control over what she does the night before the exam. Let her make what you think might be a mistake on this one while you'll still be around to support her in the (frankly unlikely) event that she thinks she's made the wrong decision. I feel for you - letting go of our children is hard but experience tells me that in this instance she'll be fine.

I was lambasted for suggesting Dd should attend a wedding the first weekend of half term.

Cloudy - nowadays you cannot even get into many A level courses without certain gcse grades (often a Grade 7 (A) to be allowed to do maths & science A levels & a Grade 6 (B) to be allowed to do other subjects.

Dd doesn’t need anything other than the basics to get onto her chosen course just to pass a funding audition but I was still told I was unreasonable.

If she has been working hard she deserves some down time too, I'd let her go ( I also have a daughter who is sitting her GCSEs this year and the pressure is immense)

Thank you for all the messages. It is a difficult one, but I have done the sensible thing and checked her timetable. She does not have an exam on the Monday after the wedding, so if she wants to go she can.

There would have been no way my parents would have let me go to any events of this length during my exams and they were just one year's subject matter worth (I wasn't in the UK). Too much distraction, even if you don't spend the time revising or cramming as such. Is this even something to contemplate?

GCSEs are far too important to risk ruining IMO and I really don't understand people who would.

I wouldn’t t have let my dd go. GCSEs are so vitally important and unis look at them as much as A level expected results. Even if they don’t go to uni it’s these results that will be on every job application they ever fill in.

I know OP has made their decision but the exam dates have bren published so if you go on thr exam board websites they tell you when thry are.

I wouldn't. Plenty of time for carousing when the exams are over.
A cousin of her father is hardly a close relation?

She will be your friend for life, OP, or at least until after the wedding. :-) Sending good wishes to her for her GCSE's and to you for a troublefree teenager-time.

You differ in your view from your EH, by not letting her go you are saying my view is the right way. There has to be some compromise.

I would let her go.

The exam is months off. She has plenty of time now to devise a revision plan to accommodate the wedding. Cramming before an example is a waste of time.

Such different responses. My dh said that Dd should go to the wedding & I was told he was unreasonable!

Check the timetable, they are up on exam board websites. I"d let her tbh, if you stop her, she'll spend the weekend resenting it, which might be worse!

You should have the timetables by now.

When is the wedding?

DD's last exam is Friday 8th June.

The week after, for the exam boards at DD's school, is the sciences for those doing triple science and I think there are German exams too. Not sure what else.

However if it was Dd, I'd have been saying no unless it was the first weekend of half term. And I'd been ensuring it was the minimum time out too.
But then Dd has exams most days over the three weeks from what I can see, but none that final week of exams.

I don’t think I would, but it depends on if she’s needing high grades or not. When I took my A levels I revised up to the last minute and it did probably help. I knew what grades I needed to get into uni so was determined to do well. If she only needs to pass maths/Eng and not doing an academic route - most sixth forms need five 6s minimum
For A levels - then I probably will.

I’d look at the timetable but I’d be inclined to say no unless it could be done as a day trip.

I am not that worried about the lack of revision, it is being tired after a family party that concerns me.

She's 16 not 60.

Alexander was that the thread that your daughter didn’t want to go to the wedding but you wanted her to as you didn’t want to leave your son or something? If so, a completely different scenario as she didn’t want to go in the middle of exams, this girl wants to.

Let her go, the break will do her good.
Get your exdp on side and lay some rules down about maybe taking a couple of books with her and obviously wait for the actual exam timetable to come out to see if she has any exams that day/morning as she might not!