Suspect teenage depression - what to do?

[WonderingHard]

I suspect my DS (15) as having some signs of depression. For last two years there's been hostility and moodiness and I suspected some kind of mild ADHD, but now it seems to be more "depressive" - no energy, looks expressionless or miserable often, no 'get up and go', I notice it seems hard for him to go to sleep, often speaking in a mumbly flat way, etc. Other times he's brighter.

I've read online some things I can do - try and keep him eating properly, sleeping properly, active and be loving and supportive. I've suggested seeing GP but he is reluctant at the moment (though if things don't improve he might be more open perhaps).

My concern is in case its not just a "teenage phase" but something more .

Perhaps talk with someone at school to ask if they have noticed any changes in his mood. They should be able to recognise the difference between 'surly hormonal teen' and 'falling into a black hole teen'.
School might have counselling too, if he's open to that.

Try Vitamin D supplements for him. Perhaps have a look at MIND website together for help and guidance. This might encourage him to know he's not the only one suffering and there is a lot of help out there these days. Try and get him feeling better before his GCSE's.

Ds was recommended this book Am I Depressed?, which might be a good place to start?

I think acknowledging that he's struggling a bit is the most useful step - sounds like you've started those conversations already. I've gone through similar with two of mine, and they've both found school counsellors helpful. Dd also went to a local free counselling service, but didn't click with the counsellor she was assigned. There are more paths than the GP, which might feel less daunting/serious - hope you and your ds can find one that will work for him.

Thanks for your replies. I really appreciated it, expected to login and find nothing. It can be strangely lonely being a parent (especially a single parent) of a difficult or struggling teenager.

I made a conscious decision to not keep it as a shameful secret, but to talk openly about it with other people - just saying that my daughter had anxiety problems, or my son was struggling with low mood, not loads of details - and I was amazed, saddened but also reassured and supported, by the amount of people who said, yes, my child has problems too. It's horribly widespread.

GP might give him a blood test to check folates/Vit D deficiency and offer big supplement. Ds1 was very deficient and that made him depressed and lethargic and it was just at this time of year that the deficency manifests itself at its worst (sunshine being a while back...) Supplements prescribed by doctor (big dose) made a BIG difference. He still takes Vit D regularily to stop it happening again.

You might get him to the GP by saying that you've read that some teens who are feeling low just need some vitamins. If he goes and is happy for you to go in with him, you can then prompt him to be honest about how he's been feeling.

Definitely engage with the school - he may open up more to someone at school. They will have lots of experience of teens with MH problems.