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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

teen not interested in new house

33 replies

cacoa · 18/02/2018 20:30

For years been living with my parents (I'm a single parent dad).
Now finally bought my own house a few weeks ago and getting it refurbed ready soon.
Son has only visited the house 3-4 times in total since. He is not bothered about wall paper colours, any designs, any work going on, broadband supplier, gadgets installed etc. Even walked past the house twice without even going in to see what is happening.
I'm really disappointed, although not expecting him to help with the work (although would have been nice) cant get him off the xbox.
I wont be getting a tv straight away either (as have no money till next month) and other priorities to spend on!

Are all teens really this did-associated from the real world?

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/02/2018 20:31

How okd

BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/02/2018 20:32

Old

Casmama · 18/02/2018 20:34

I can understand why you are so excited but I think 3-4 visits us pretty good. It’s not the same achievement for him it is for you.
Could he be worried about missing his grandparents?
I think you probably need to lighten up- don’t make him feel bad and don’t let it dull your excitement.
Congratulations

SpringSnowdrop · 18/02/2018 20:35

Could the Xbox be the problem? Come he do without it for a bit and you could spend time together sharing something fun to do?

I’d be really disappointed in this but our DC are 11 and under and very chatty and involved in pretty much everything , easier at this age

negomi90 · 18/02/2018 20:38

He's a teen, part wrapped in his own world and part dealing with complicated feelings about your move (its a change and he's likely worried about the impact it will have on his relationship with your parents).

AliceWhiting · 18/02/2018 20:38

Short answer: yes they are...

LonginesPrime · 18/02/2018 20:39

Your teenager isn't interested in wallpaper colours and which broadband supplier you're using?

C0untDucku1a · 18/02/2018 20:40

HE will probably be excited when youre actually in. Or like a pp said, if the teo
Of you have been loving with your parents for years he will probably
Miss seeing them every day.

Original poster
cacoa · 18/02/2018 20:40

He is 16yrs.
Were only going to be living 5mins walks from grandparents. I really tried to get him involved such as where he wants electrical sockets, what smart features should be installed etc. Told him if he could help with anything i would pay him rather than spending all on tradesmen costs.
no interest whatsoever :(

OP posts:
Original poster
cacoa · 18/02/2018 20:42

Gosh when i was 16yrs I used to love doing woodwork etc and used to strive to find anything i could do at home at the time (although my dad never let me do much properly)

OP posts:
BiologyMatters · 18/02/2018 20:50

Im amazed you think a teenager would be the least bit interested.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 18/02/2018 20:55

Congratulations. Sorry it doesn't sound like he is bubbling with enthusiasm, perhaps underneath the cool exterior he is keen - just not sure how to express it.

At his age, you were you - he isn't into the same stuff and isn't faking interest pretending he is.

Don't take it to heart, keep going. Teens can be like cats, the more you try and engage their interest they instinctively back off. When it's actually moving day maybe he will perk up.

Original poster
cacoa · 18/02/2018 21:01

"Don't take it to heart, keep going. Teens can be like cats, the more you try and engage their interest they instinctively back off. When it's actually moving day maybe he will perk up." Good quote, i am learning he does not care about anything or anyone. He never cares about anyone or anything e.g. never visited granddad when in hospital, and made loads of excuses to not attend a close relative's funeral - i guess a house is nothing to him.
So sad how xboxs have corrupted kids minds. At parents evening another dad was telling me how low his son's grades were and he cant get him off the xbox.
:(

OP posts:
mikesh909 · 18/02/2018 21:18

Where did he get the Xbox? What boundaries do you set for its use?

Original poster
cacoa · 18/02/2018 21:23

mikesh909 S - he bought it about 2 years ago, before that he had a PS3. We have had loads of arguments over fair gaming time, but i gave in after was affecting my health and work, even after taking professional help. It was one battle I could never win. Although he does balance study time a bit better with GCSEs this year. But sadly has no other activities and no interest in sports.

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 18/02/2018 21:37

It's not really an xbox issue. He's 16 and teenagers subconsciously start to disassociate from their parents to prepare for independent adult life. Don't take it personally or blame a gadget, it's all normal.

AliceWhiting · 18/02/2018 23:38

Harriety ^Agree, really. 16 yo DS is very keen to disassociate himself from his parents. But he's only 16, so it's hard.

cdtaylornats · 19/02/2018 08:52

I've never understood the "new house excitement". It's a place to live, another machine.

Ragwort · 19/02/2018 08:58

He sounds totally normal, sadly many teenagers are totally self obsessed.

DancesWithOtters · 19/02/2018 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

titchy · 19/02/2018 09:13

Fuck I'm not interested in where plug sockets go and I'm 50. Why in God's name would you think a 16 yo would be even remotely interested Confused Some people really don't get their kids do they....

ShatnersBassoon · 19/02/2018 09:24

Gosh when i was 16yrs I used to love doing woodwork etc and used to strive to find anything i could do at home at the time (although my dad never let me do much properly)

That's quite unusual. Saying 'gosh' is too tbh. Sorry Blush, it stands out and makes me think you're a generally perky person,
which 16 year old boys usually aren't.

Your son's level of interest seems normal; he knows what's happening, he's looked at the house, he doesn't want to take part in DIY or home decor decisions.

Sundance2741 · 19/02/2018 12:34

We didn't move house when I was 16 but I can well imagine seeing it as my parents' "baby" if we had and being fairly detached from it. In the back of my mind would have been the thought of university and a life to come away from my family. Also would probably have resented them uprooting me from what I was used to. Would never have done jobs for them unless that was insisted upon. Did the lawn mowing but only as I got paid! I resented even emptying the dishwasher - it was their problem as far as I was concerned! It's all totally normal I would say. (No X boxes or the like in my day!)

Keehar256 · 19/02/2018 17:14

My DD 14 doesn't give a monkeys about anything in our new house except her mirrored sliding wardrobes that she admires herself in all the time! No way she would be the slightest bit interested in the DIY or colour scheme.
Your DS would be a very odd teenager if he cared two hoots about your broadband provider or where the sockets were going.
Mine wouldn't notice if we painted the whole house purple.
Don't worry about it..

LemonysSnicket · 19/02/2018 18:18

At 16 most boys literally don’t give a shit.

My brother just came to visit me with my mum in London... barely looked up from his phone the whole week.

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