AIBU 16 y/o dd lesbian girlfriend

[concernedmum111]

I've known about my dd's sexuality since she told me at 14 (though I'd had my suspicions since she was much much younger as she was always a tomboy). I've found out recently that she's been dating one of her female friends - They'd been meeting up and talking much more regularly than her usual with friends so again not a surprise. She's been in a couple of relationships before, only about 6 months each but it's not her first time dating. One of them was with a girl too, so that's also not first time. Anyway, dd slept over at this girlfriends house recently and now wants to have her over and stay in her room - our house is overcrowded and that's the only way she can have people sleep over, even sofas are taken. Girlfriend seems like a nice girl and certainly makes dd happy (dd has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety so that's fairly significant) but I don't know how I feel about this still. I suspect they may be having sex anyway as dd is often at her house (in the UK so they are both old enough to consent), but I can't help feeling wary about my daughter having lesbian sex under my roof. AIBU to say no to the girl staying over?

Do you really think by saying no you are going to stop them?

It's not about stopping them having sex - it's about stopping them having sex in our home, I don't see why so many 'cool' parents are so easy going about facilitating their childrens' sex lives .

And do you accept it is 'one special partner' ............ what then happens when they meet someone new, do you have to welcome frequent partners into your home for shagging sessions?

My SIL was pretty cool when her DD invited her first sexual partner to stay the night, not so happy when it turned into a stream of different boyfriends appearing in the kitchen for breakfast every weekend.

Much easier to have a straightforward 'not allowed' rule.

My parents didn’t let me sleep in the same room as my boyfriend at that age. Neither did his parents. What it did for me, was to frame sex as something that should be taken seriously, that it should be reserved for someone who you are serious about and shouldn’t be taken lightly. That made me wait until I was ready and, more importantly, with the right person.

I know lots of people can have casual sex and be fine with it, and hats off to them, but I’m definitely not one of those people. I get emotionally involved if I have sex, so I’m much better of reserving it for someone I’m in a serious relationship with.

So OP, I think it’s fine to say that you don’t want them having sex at the house until they are older, have been together longer or whatever.