Helping my DS make friends and gain confidence

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Just wondering how I can help my DS (18) to make friends and gain some confidence in himself at the same time. He really struggles with low self esteem but I can see that he is becoming increasingly depressed. Doesn’t really have many friends, casual acquaintances at college but that is all. Tried for a 5 a side football team locally but they were all a lot older and quite unfriendly. To cap it all, they declined him joining as his football skills were a bit rusty! Another confidence blow!
I am trying to encourage him in whatever ways I can, but it is hard. His college aren’t being particularly helpful which is a bit frustrating. I just worry that he isn’t gaining any social skills, friendships, experience in the outside world etc and it will not be that long before job hunting becomes a reality. My DS has life long health problems which have played a big part in how insecure he is and the fact that he is struggling now. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Wish I had the answer! I'd be much less worried about my DAD if I did 😋

Just watching to see if anyone has any ideas and letting you know you and DS are not the only ones in this (or at least similar) situation.

Ha ha! I meant DD! Flipping predictive text.

Have you thought about some sort of voluntary work or suggesting he gives NCS a go?
If he has any interests or hobbies, has he thought about going online and joining a forum or online community? This won't be a perfect answer but a good way to practice interacting with people and improving his self esteem.
One final thing, if he is sporty or interested in taking part in sport it might be worth seeking out one of the lesser known sports and joining up as a beginner.
OP, there are quite a few us on here with similar worries so I wish him all the best.

Exercise is a confidence builder, maybe he could join a gym, or try a martial art. Football is incredibly competitive, so it might not be the best option for him.

Hi Retreat, I have an 18yr old DS who sounds VERY similar to yours. He has done very little to find a job in his gap year due to lack of confidence (he says, also a bit lazy!). Has very few friends and got picked on for supposed lack of football skill when playing 5 a side which really knocked him. Also has a life long health issue which isn't conducive to a good social life or to increasing confidence skills for a teenager. At the moment I am supporting him any way I can and boosting confidence with praise for any little thing good he does.

He did martial arts for about 5 years but gave up at about 16 yr, although my DD 15 yr still does it and it has been a big confidence boost for her (I'm sure it helped DS too but more noticeable in DD). DS wants to concentrate on football but he needs to toughen up for that sort of life!

What are his plans on the job front, does he actually have any idea what he would like to do? Perhaps he could look at another football team if that's what he enjoys, he may have just had a bad experience?

I am watching your post with interest, sure you'll get some more good advice, Trying is always very kind and helpful .

for you

thanks forcryinoutloud

No problem, credit where credit's due! And thanks, for you too .

Retreat, 18yr can be a difficult age, is there anyone in the family (eg aunts/uncles) who can have a chat to him? As mums we can sometimes overly worry I see problems huger than they are. Not saying that you are...just looking at all possibilities...you sound like a great mum and I bet he'll eventually find his way more.

I would really recommend voluntary work- great for cv’s etc. Or if really into computers / gaming my dd had a great time volunteering at insomnia festival at the nec at Birmingham.do-it.org has lots of opportunities or a local volunteer bureau?