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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage holiday without adults...

46 replies

User4949 · 21/01/2018 15:55

Dd16 has asked to go to zante this summer, she'll then be 17. Five of her friends are going . I wasn't expecting it, my initial reaction is to say no but has anyone else's teens done this ?

OP posts:
NapQueen · 21/01/2018 15:56

I went to kos at 17 with some friends. Cant see why not.

FakeMews · 21/01/2018 15:59

DS1 did the dreaded "lads" holiday after A levels.
I won't tell you the hair raising stories
I wouldn't have been too keen at just 17. I'm guessing her friends may only be 16?

NickMyLipple · 21/01/2018 16:01

I went to Kos at 16 too! Loved every second and I was very well behaved.

Original poster
User4949 · 21/01/2018 16:12

They will all be 17 , she's not exactly sensible but has never given use huge cause for concern , always returns home sober and hasn't done anything awful. I didn't even think this would be a thing yet, but obviously now it's "everyone's going".

OP posts:
10thingsIhateAboutTheDailyMail · 21/01/2018 17:11

If she is old enough to earn her own money for this trip and book and organise it herself, she is old enough to go.

If she expects you to pay/plan/book everything (accommodation, flight, passport, ehic, how to get to the airport etc).... she's not ready

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 21/01/2018 18:44

Mine too. In fact I think half of the UK teens will be in xante at some point over the summer.

specialsubject · 21/01/2018 19:22

All hopefully in laganas, out of everyone else's way.

If she wants to go kiddy drunk, that's her call. If she doesn't make sure she knows what she is letting herself in for.

Original poster
User4949 · 21/01/2018 20:51

Saltandvinegar is yours 16/17 too?! I still haven't decided, I think once she's 18 her call so not sure what difference 6 months would make but Im just not sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
User4949 · 21/01/2018 20:51

She would pay some but in full time education so I'd have to chip in.

OP posts:
BillywilliamV · 21/01/2018 20:57

Nope, 18 at least I think.

NapQueen · 22/01/2018 06:37

Well there is your out then OP.

"Of course you can go, dd, how much will it all cost you?"
She cant afford it; she cant go.

She is 16 so able to pick up some weekend work/babysitting/save her bday and xmas money.

FrancisCrawford · 22/01/2018 06:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Evelynismyformerspyname · 22/01/2018 06:45

If it's something that you don't want her to do, she funds it herself and does all the booking and organising. I'd say just saying "no" isn't right at 17, but you don't have to organise and pay!

I went to visit a school friend who'd moved to Malaysia on my own when I was 16 (summer after GCSEs). I worked the entire long summer (from the day after my last exam in June), full time, in a cafe to pay for it and went for the final ten days.

Tbh it wouldn't have occurred to me that my parents would be able to "stop" me, but also it didn't occur to me that they'd pay! I organised my own ticket over the phone with the STA (pre internet) and received an invoice - I don't know whether that part is possible any more!

Dogsarethebest · 22/01/2018 14:30

My dd is 18 and also heading to Zante this summer, four girls all good friends (one will still be 17). I am happier this time about her going away with friends, she is more ready for it and the group work well together.

Parky04 · 22/01/2018 16:40

Went to Ibiza at 15! Was working full time though and this was 30 years ago! DS is 16 and I would allow him to go if he paid for it. Would worry though!

RavenLG · 22/01/2018 17:12

I went to Zante when I was 16. I worked and paid for it all. My parents weren't happy about it but at the same time, I think they thought they couldn't keep me under wraps forever. I now work at a university and seeing the 18 year olds that have been under wraps by parents for so long get a little taste of freedom and end up massively out of control / in hospital etc it's scary. I'd sit down and have a chat with her about the dangers / risks / behaviour etc, and obviously she needs to pay (unless you give her money as a birthday present or something).

Bellamuerte · 22/01/2018 17:15

I wouldn't allow my 17yo to go abroad unsupervised. Some posters may have done the same when they were young but it's a different world nowadays and it isn't safe. I'd worry myself sick.

specialsubject · 22/01/2018 17:46

Most places are pretty safe. The kiddy drunk resorts aren't, as the whole point is to swill to unconscious.

VioletCharlotte · 22/01/2018 17:55

16 seems a bit young to me (and Il fairly relaxed with my teens). I think I'd be ok with a holiday in this country (DS is 16 and planning to go to a festival), but going abroad would worry me as I don't think he's mature enough and there would be nothing I could do if things went wrong. You know your own child though, some 16 year olds are much more mature than mine others.

wisba · 22/01/2018 18:13

I also have DC planning post A level holiday with group of friends, one of my concerns is accommodation, I think hotel would be better (meals, security, pool, near to beach, emergency help/responsible adult available if required) they want to go s/c. What is everyone else planning? I am fearing the worst!!

Original poster
User4949 · 22/01/2018 18:16

I'm still undecided she'll Be 17 and a half when they plan on going. On one hand this plan is with her sensible friends, she has hugely improved maturity and behaviour wise in the last 18 months, I'm just still a bit anxious about the thought of it. I think whatever age she has her first holiday I'll be anxious!

OP posts:
Original poster
User4949 · 22/01/2018 18:18

If I say yes it's an all inclusive resort, I'd try and get your dc to go All inclusive depending how sensible they are, on my first teenage holiday I spent all money on alcohol and hardly ate !

OP posts:
Notthisnotthat · 22/01/2018 18:19

They will need an 18 year old on the booking will they not, we did when we went at the end of sixth year. In Scotland so a mix of 17 and 18 year olds.

taskmaster · 22/01/2018 18:19

16/17? No way? I wouldn't send mine off to drink illegally and get into all kinds of trouble.

wisba · 22/01/2018 18:34

Agree OP all inclusive is the way forward, to me self catering = lots of drinking on empty teenage stomachs eww. Some members of group, including own DC, will be 17 others 18. Majority fairly sensible but not exactly street smart. I think after exams they will be exhausted and hotel is just what is required. All I want is for them to come home in one piece.