Teens sneaking out

[Mummabear2002]

Hi,
So my daughter is 15 years old and last night she snuck out of the house at around midnight and wasn’t home until around 2:30am. I got up to get a drink at around 1am and I walked past her room to check on her but she wasn’t there. I waited for her to get home and when she did I was furious. I asked her where she went and she told me that her best friend who is 19, asked her to do a lift with her. For those who do not know, lifts according to teens are when you drive around picking drunk people up and taking them back home for money. She told me her friend didn’t want to do a lift by herself because her ex boyfriend had asked for a lift and she needed the money. Her friend begged my daughter to come and my daughter went with her. She snuck out the back gate and had her friend pick her up. I understand that my daughter was being a good friend by keeping her friend company and I’m not sure if I should punish her for this. Should I punish her?? What should I do??

Why is your 15 year old's best friend a 19 year old woman??

Where did she meet her? Why isn't she best friends with a girl her own age?

Have you done anything to discourage this friendship?

You should discourage her from hanging around with adults.

My daughter met this 19 year old at work. She has friends her own age but the 19 year old is her best friend. I’m just not sure it’s a good idea to try stop them from being friends. This 19 year old has never been a bad influence on my daughter before and I think my daughter was only trying to be a good friend by sneaking out to do this lift. I need advice on if I should punish my daughter for this or not. I don’t particularly want to stop them from being friends though

I have no clue why they are such good friends. All I know is that they work together at a fast food store

Would you have allowed her to go if she asked?

I don't think punishing her will benefit either of you, she didn't go meeting some lad or went to all night house party to come home drunk or drugged up, not saying she should be sneaking out, I would make time to have a chat with her friend and explain that there is a 4 year age gap and you don't appreciate her Turing your daughter in that predicament

I would make it clear it was never to happen again. Just from a safety aspect. Drunk people young driver dark roads not the best combo.

The most important thing is to make sure she doesn’t do it again. She can’t be sneaking out. You could have called the police. If something happens to her, you would have no idea how long she had been gone or where they start looking. It’s probably not worth punishing her. Better to stress the reasons why she mustn’t do it again.
She’s 15. Punishing and banned friendships doesn’t tend to go well, it just means they start hiding things from you and lying to you. She needs to tell you the truth & make good choices to stay safe.

I wouldn’t be happy with an adult woman not realising how inappropriate it is to collude with a 15 year old child to sneak out in the middle of the night to go with her to pick up drunk people.

Are these drunk people she knows or complete randoms?

I would make very clear how annoyed you are with her.

I’d talk to her and ask why she thinks you’re annoyed. Discuss the fact you didn’t know where she was, she’s picked up random drunk people and charging people for a ride home, without a taxi licence is illegal.

If she doesn’t reassure you it will never happen again, I would punish her. Maybe Take away phone or limit access to internet.

Not acceptable. Have a word with friend. Tell daughter its not to happen again.