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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Any advice for ds 17 possible eating disorder

12 replies

akeys1970 · 07/01/2018 15:19

Hi my just turned 17 ds has always had an issue with food. From age 10 to 14 he would binge eat and hated his body. From 14 he restricted his calories and lost a lot of weight. I left his dad when he was 13 and he lives with me. He is not anorexic but probably is on the borderline of some type of eating disorder. I have tried to talk to him about this but he insists he is fine and is just trying to get a 6 pack. I know he needs some kind of therapy but I have asked him would he like to speak to someone and he says no, I'm being over protective. He is very head strong and can not exactly be frog marched down to the GP (although I would obviously do that if I thought his health was in danger). He has suddenly lost a lot of weight in the last couple of weeks, it seems to coincide with visiting his controlling dad in Cyprus. Unfortunately I cannot get his father to help as I fear he will do more harm than good.

He is a good kid apart from the usual teenage smoking issues,, he did well in his GCSEs last year and has a reasonably good social life. He doesn't appear depressed. It is so hard to get teenage boys to open up.

Anyone going/gone through the same with any suggestions? I make sure there are things like nuts and snacks in the house and cook every night. I find letting him eat in his room actually helps as he tends to finish more meals as he is distracted by TV, he will only eat half his dinner when we eat together.

OP posts:
EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 07/01/2018 20:40

akeys that sounds really difficult. Have you spoken to anyone who specialises in eating disorders, like these people?

Sorry I can’t be of more help. You must be worried sick Thanks

akeys1970 · 07/01/2018 21:25

Thanks so much for your reply. No I haven't spoken to anyone yet when ever I get super worried he seems to start eating normally again. That website looks good I will give them a call.

OP posts:
silver1977 · 07/01/2018 21:39

Are you sure he is actually eating in his room? Can he watch tv downstairs while eating with you so you can see what he eats?

akeys1970 · 07/01/2018 22:15

When he is like this (this is the 2nd time in 2 years I have been worried) I check his plate in his room. We had dinner together tonight and he ate half again but he has just come and got some crisps and a chocolate mousse. It's so hard to know whether controling his calories is a temporary coping strategy (he has mock exams tomorrow) or he needs counselling. The website Everonetalkabout has posted has a helpline I am going to call them tomorrow. Last time this happened I kept a food diary and worked super hard to make meal times stress free and bite my lip and he slowly started eating normally again. He will be going to uni in a couple of years I am worried that if I don't somehow tackle it, it could turn to anorexia if I'm not around.

OP posts:
NorthernSpirit · 08/01/2018 09:07

Eating disorders are a mental health issue. Your son needs professional help. A good start is your GP.

midnightmooch · 08/01/2018 11:08

Don't want to add to your worries but are you sure he is not making himself sick after he eats?

t875 · 08/01/2018 12:32

Is he definately eating his meals upstairs? Phone BEAT they hopefully will be able to help. It might just be a phase he’s going through. Has he said he wants to lose weight? Get things in the cubboard that have high calories / fat in them as well as healthy foods Incase he isn’t eating well enough. Good luck x

akeys1970 · 08/01/2018 13:33

Thanks for your messages.

Have just tried to call Anorexia Care who have a helpline for parents but they are closed today so will try tomorrow.

Made an appointment at the GP for Sat morning so somehow need to get him to agree to see the doctor by then. Hopefully the helpline will have some suggestions as he is in total denial and is very stubborn so he could just refuse to go.

Cried all the way to work this morning but keep reminding myself it is not full blown anorexia.

He has not gone to school today because he feels he will fail his exam I have been supportive as don't want to put any pressure on him.

OP posts:
chequeplease · 08/01/2018 14:03

It sounds like he's very anxious about school and exams. I think you're definitely doing the right thing not putting pressure on him to go in.
It sounds like he does need some therapy or CBT to try and help him understand and manage his emotions.
Will you leave him alone with the GP so he can open up, or stay with him?

t875 · 08/01/2018 16:29

Let us know how he gets on. Keep us posted here. All the very best. You sound like you are very supportive and understanding.
Sounds like he has anxiety around his exams School which might be part of the eating thing. X

akeys1970 · 10/01/2018 20:11

Hi have spoken to ABC helpline who are very good if anyone reading this needs help. They said a BMi of under 17.5 in teens is a problem. Have insisted on weighing him tonight and he is 18.4 so I will have to keep an eye on him. His eating has got a lot better but somehow I need to address his emotional issues. Thanks everyone for your messages, it's helped me so much getting that support.

OP posts:
midnightmooch · 10/01/2018 20:52

My teen has a BMI of 16 - which is fine when plugged into the NHS child counter - he's 14.....Their advice must reflect older teens?

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