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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Disapproving of my friends DD

3 replies

innuendoqueen · 03/01/2018 20:41

Hi
My DD2 is in year 8. She has a few circles of friends and tends to be fairly easy going except usual teen hormonal episodes. A girl who is one of her closer friends is also my close friends daughter who she has known since they met at reception at school. As they have grown, the gulf between my relationship with my DD and her relationship with her DD is quite apparent. I can’t decide if this is normal but they are incredibly close, more like friends than mother and daughter and I’ve started to find it not only slightly intense and uncomfortable but sometimes not what I want my child exposed to.

Clothing is another issue. She buys incredibly sexualised clothing for her(she is 12) to wear. So it’s my friend buying these things for her and I don’t want to slut shame here, I just can’t fathom how some of the outfits are deemed acceptable for her DD. (Think very cropped tops, very short skirts, high heels and thigh high socks and even thigh high boots worn with mini skirts).

I would not allow my child to wear such grown up and inappropriate clothing but I take on board this may be the norm and I am being unreasonable here!

I’m just looking for advice on how to handle it, do I say to my daughter I don’t agree with the clothing, or do I say nothing at all, it’s hard to not even raise an eyebrow when she turns up with some of the outfits and her mum my friend always thinks she looks lovely.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 03/01/2018 21:06

You're not disapproving if your friends DD, you are disapproving if your friends choices fir her DD. I don't think there's any bed to say anything to your DD - she will be all to aware you would never let her wear such clothes.

Hassled · 03/01/2018 21:16

Say nothing. Your DD will have her own views - and if at some point she decides she also wants to wear clothing you feel is inappropriate then you can have a bit of a chat about it, but until then there's nothing to be gained from voicing your opinion. If the girl is a good friend and a nice person, that's all that really matters.

innuendoqueen · 03/01/2018 21:45

Thanks, yes, you are both right, I guess it is actually my friend I disapprove of which I find difficult now. I guess I feel I don’t know her suddenly as well as I just don’t agree in some of her parenting styles.

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