Social media (I know)

[littlebillie]

Just how long per week, the indulgences of Christmas are over and I am sick of mobile phones and screens in general. What are your screen limits for your DC teens (mine is aged 13).

We do not allow any social media of the living area and nothing in bedrooms. But just wondered how much per day ie during the school week and at the weekend you allow them to sit browsing or posing for their phone and "audience"

My DD is 13 and I let her go on SM wherever she likes. The living room is for relaxing in whatever way the family wants....within reason of course.

DD doesn't post selfies hardly and would never sit and pose in front of us...she'd pass out with the shame!

I am currently in this nightmare!! Dd13 is on it all the time, usually I remove all devices on a school night but after telling her to turn all off tonight discovered she was still on it at 2.30 this morning so I have removed everything and am sitting here pondering how to police it in future.
We do have regular talks on not allowing people you don't know on there but it's all friend of a friend bullocks she just doesn't seem to understand and she does post selfies.

I need to sort it just not sure how. It will also mean backtracking I think which will not go down well.

Here's a recent article on parents, children, and social media. It seems good:
theconversation.com/how-parents-and-teens-can-reduce-the-impact-of-social-media-on-youth-well-being-87619

Not having children myself and struggling to get to grips with social media.

I found dc had been contacting strangers in Instagram but her communication was very odd. The constant pictures are so self indulgent we had to remove musicaly for the same reason 🙄

Dd13 is pretty good at regulating herself. She doesn't spend much time on instagram, never posts selfies, whatsapps a couple of friends, but prefers watching youtube, or just switching off and doing something else. We try and hammer home that social media isn't everything. We do have a rule that devices are switched off by 9.30 on school nights.

I think it also depends on their group of friends. My dds friends aren't too bothered by it. If your dds friends are always on it then she will be too as she's afraid of missing something.

We have a theoretical switch off time of 8 for mobiles and tablets, and I try to enforce them being downstairs charging after that.

I feel a bit distraught after reading that article at the idea of actually having to watch some you tube videos. Scrolling through Instagram or getting them to show me their friends list or Snapchat story I can do, but I hate watching videos. Plus, what's the point? I can't police what is on you tube, and one click and they are on something else.

We do talk about vloggers being paid to promote, and choosing not to watch stuff that might distress you - they remove themselves when distressing scenes come on the TV.

I have a 12 year old DSD who has had a phone for a year and personally I think her usage is too much.

She’s glued to it all the time. We have a ‘phone amnesty’ when we get in - all phones on the side. Although over Christmas she had sneaked off with it a few times. No screens in the cars (we’ve had 2 vomiting incidents in the car). We said no social media (FB, Instagram, Snapchat) - you legally have to be 13 in the UK to download and use. Unfortunately her mum is happy for her to have it and has lied about her age (out of our control).

She’s obsessed about taking pouting selfies (which personally I dislike) and think it puts pressure on young girls. NYE was a nightmare - wouldn’t get off her phone.

We have said no phones after 8pm and no phones in bedrooms.

Instagram has gone and we have just talked at length about it and she is relieved. I think they don't know how to step back once they have the app. I am starting to think we damaging our kids by letting them on.

@littlebillie - good for you. Wish we could do the same with my DSD. We think there’s a problem - sadly her mum doesn’t. Her brother tells me that his sister and his mum spend all night on their phones and don’t talk to each other or him. Sad.

Kids are loosing the ability to converse and deal with social situations because of the obsessive usage of phones.

Well done littlebillie, it's not easy making these decisions, especially when you feel like the only one. I look back on things I wasn't allowed to do & I survived, somethings I was secretly glad of.

I think it very much depends on the child, I have one who is much more mature than the other.
I think it helps if they are given plenty of opportunities to socialise &outside of school in RL, this occupies their spare time & boosts their confidence.