What household chores do your teens do?

[KittyConCarne]

Looking for a bit of inspiration/ plan going forward.
We're right in the middle now of several Christmases and birthdays, plus New Year celebrations, and although I do love all the festivities, I'm feeling absolutely shattered with being the only organiser/ cleaner/ shopper for everything in our large family.

I'm thinking in the new year, I'd like to have a bit of a re-organisation of household chores for everyone (DP being a main target in this), but I'd also like to get older DC more involved with helping out as I'd prefer them to be growing up/ taking more responsibility in preparation for adulthood.

We are:
DP (full-time work/ few household chores only when I actually request them),
me as SAHM (doing 95% of chores/ childcare etc),
DSS (20yrs/ full-time work/ rents own place/ jumps straight in to lend a hand with anything without being asked, whenever he pops in),
DSD (18yrs/ part-time college 20hrs/ part-time work 8hrs/ no chores whatsoever, BUT only here 2 nights per week),
DSD (16yrs/ school 30hrs/ pretends to tidy her pigsty once a week/ will wash up after dinner around 3 times per week once nagged),
DD (7yrs/ vaguely tidies her toys & art bits away after herself),
DD (23mths/ kindly puts anything apart from rubbish into the bin- "I's HELPING!"

I think I'd just like to know how other families with teens organise chores and household tasks as they get older?

DD15 irons our kids clothes every week for £20 a month, that's it. DS10 empties dishwasher every day 50p a time, that's all. Hope that helps!

Think it is a bit different as mine live with me all the time (well, did until they went to University), however, if it helps - looking to when your little ones get older.
Mine all made one evening meal per week. the ones that weren't cookig one had to unload the dishwasher / put stuff away and the other had to lay the table / get everyone drinks ready etc. After the meal everyone expected to clear something from the table as they get up and put it in the dishwasher (or away if taking stuff that wasn't going in the dishwasher).
Generally do something else if asked - make a cuppa / put the shopping away / put the recycling out / go and collect the rubbish from bins round the house / get the washing out the machine / etc., but they were all random 'when asked' things. Everyone expected to put stuff on the shopping list when it is running low, put clothes in washing basket, leave bathrooms ready for the next person to use, keep on top of their own pigsties bedrooms etc.

Ok great- I currently do minimum ironing haha (just school & work uniforms/ younger DDs' dresses etc) as just haven't got the time to fit it in, so getting DSD2 to help with that might be a good idea.

We don't have a dishwasher, and DD1 can't reach the sink/ draining board (let alone risk of breaking stuff/ hurting herself), so can't have her helping with that. Would like her involved though, so was thinking perhaps the responsibility of remembering to feed the cats breakfast/ dinner? (So long as I remember to double-check afterwards).

I also kind of want to instill a routine of everyone just pitching in with their jobs without me having to nag/ remind on a daily basis, or indeed pay them to do it. I know most families pay their children to do household chores, but I think I'd like them to do stuff just because they're part of this household, and then if they'd like to earn some extra pennies they can offer to do extra non-essential jobs like washing the car/ weeding the patio etc. Not sure if I'm going to achieve this though lol.

I have 4 teens (DC2 has SEN) and a 10 yo. I'm a SAHM/carer for DC2.

3 of them do the dishwashing after dinner. And also cook dinner once a week.
They will also put washing on.

The other 2 do the clothes drying - on the line in summer or tumble dryer in winter. Plus DC2 likes cleaning the bathroom! (I'm not arguing with that!)

They put their own clothes away but I fold them once they are dried.

They are good, and will generally do what is asked of them, without too much moaning!

Their bedrooms are a mess though, when I send them to tidy up they tend to read instead!

Ds 14 takes recycling out, puts his and dd3 s clothes away after being washed. He also tidies his room ( in theory). Ds 9 and 8 empty the dishwasher, put their clothes away and tidy their room, dd3 likes to help with dishwasher and all of them will clear table after dinner.

'Most families' definitely don't pay their DC to do chores. They should be doing them as part of being a family, living in the house. As long as they are age/ability appropriate, theres nothing wrong with them pitching in.
Feeding the cat is a good one. Set a time that it has to be done, make sure they know how much etc/to clean it before/after.

What about taking the recycling/bins out?
Hoovering downstairs?

Not enough, but mine (14 & 16yo) are responsible for their own bedrooms and ironing and putting laundry away, although I don't the police the quality of either, I just shut the door and let them wear the clothes.

DS2 empties the dishwasher every morning and DS1 puts the bins out and sorts the recycling.

They hoover the whole house between them one a week.

They both know that if I ask them to do any other chore, it's not really a request

They do gardening or wash the car for spending money but I don't pay for housework.

DD is 15 & lives with me half the time. The amount she does varies by week, two of the nights she's always with me we're out doing activities so there's not much time once you allow for yr 11 GCSE homework. In general she:

• Gets wood in for the rayburn (does CH & hot water as well as cooking so a fair job)

- Washes up a couple of times a week - basically whenever I cook a full meal as opposed to us having leftovers - Cooks once a week if it works out with the nights she's here (she likes cooking so I'm not sure that really counts as a chore, esp as I generally end up buying special ingredients!) - Is generally helpful about things like shifting loads of wood when delivered, moving heavy things (for me plus her grandparents), nipping to the shops etc.

(She cleans her own room / changes her bedding etc but I don't regard that as contributing to the household really. It's done to a lower level than I would choose, but is reasonably hygenic and she does bring down mugs/dishes these days before they moulder too much )

I don't pay for housework, she gets £20 / month spending money regardless.

I run my own business, so I do pay if she does work that I would otherwise pay someone else to do IYSWIM, but not for household chores.

D'S 15: cleans his room and bathroom and Hoovers whole house once per week. I usually ask him to do something else most evenings: hang washing on airer or fold and put away or load/unload the dishwasher, take out recycling etc.

My main bugbear is making sure he leaves the kitchen as he finds it, this is a work in progress

I'm not sure why you think "most" families pay their dc to do jobs - not my experience. Like you, I believe everyone should pitch in because they live as part of the household. Also so they grow up just automatically taking things out of a room as they go / clearing things from the table as they grow / appreciating the work that has gone in to a meal being put in front of them / etc.

Mine are 14 and 16 and do absolutely naff all. They are lazy entitled poos and it drives me insane. However, I warned DH that this would happen when they were tiny and he said they should not have any jobs to do around the house.
They’re in for a massive shock when they leave home 😕

Thanks BackforGood- yes it is more aimed at my younger DDs, and obviously DSD2 as she lives with me 24/7, but would like DSD1 to help just a little as it's hard work organising & cleaning up after the younger 3, let alone remembering to get DSD1's work uniform cleaned from wherever she's dropped it/ nag her to sort the bathroom or bedroom once she's destroyed it etc.

I really like the idea of taking turns doing the dinner once a week- that might work really well, and be a useful life skill.
They do already do a lot of "when asked" things such as you've listed so it's not like they're rude/ point blank refuse or anything, but I feel like most of my conversations with everyone start with "Don't forget to..." and "Remember to...", etc, whereas I'd like everyone to have a few things they just get on with as their new normal chores without me being the one to constantly remind everyone. If I'm out of the house for the day (rarely) then not one person will do anything they've previously been asked or agreed to do as I'm not there calling up the stairs to remind them to get on with it. I'd like to just have them all pitching in a bit, and then I can ask for some extra help with bits if I really need it.

Nagging them to keep or just occasionally tidy their bedrooms was the bane of my life up until last summer. I decided if they want to live in pigsties then apart from constantly sort it myself there wasn't much I could do. But I don't need to hand pocket money over if they refused to do such a basic bit of looking after their own things, so if their rooms aren't tidy on pocket money day each week (giving them 6 days a week to choose from to tidy it), then they lose out on getting money. Thought it would spur them into tidying up but nope, turns out they prefer to live in squalor with no money, so I just have to keep their doors closed & ignore it.

I'm thinking I probably need to draw up a chores list for the kitchen wall so everyone knows what their new chores are (not sure how to enforce them though without nagging), and also a serious conversation with everyone about how I expect rooms to be left/ tidied up after themselves. Making sandwiches and leaving the fridge contents on the side once they've wandered off with their sarnie/ not washing the toothpaste out of the sink/ leaving dirty clothes in a heap like the invisible man has vanished literally next to the bathroom linen bin- these are the constant little jobs that are eating into my time and they should all be sorting them themselves as a normal part of their days. If they're still home when I notice their mess then I'll call them to come and sort it out themselves, but they don't learn from it and just do it again the next day. I just think I've pandered to them a little too long, so I'm not sure how to teach them a new more considerate household normality.

DS is 16 and takes the dogs on their evening walk every other night, picks up after them in the garden on weekends, and hoovers the whole house every weds. If he’s busy on any of those days he swaps out with one of us in advance.

He’ll also take the dogs on a long walk during holidays/weekends, watches his younger sibs when the grown up has to pop out to the shops and does household stuff like dishwasher/ empty tumble drier etc.
He’ll do some supper prep but no cooking to speak of.
We get a lot of eye rolling and huffing but he’s generally ok.

DD, 8, has to feed the dogs twice a week, put her clean clothes away, do the dishwasher twice a week and do tidy up time before supper and before bedtime. Massive dramas! She’ll also read/do Maths/drawing with her younger siblings very happily though
.
The twins have to put their clean folded laundry away and do tidy up time before supper and before bed.

It’s constantly evolving though and, looking at this written down, the little ones could be doing a bit more and the teen a little less!

Did empties the dishwasher and puts all the laundry away and helps with bits of ironing and hovering now and again. She gets about £40 a month for this

Mine (11 & 19)
Lay and clear the table.
Fill and empty the dishwasher.
Change and make everybody's beds with me.
Hang, fold and put away their clean washing.
Tidy their bedrooms every evening.
Dust and vacuum when asked.
Take out the rubbish.
Make simple meals for themselves (packed lunch, microwave meals, basic cooking for the older one).

All without any money passing hands.
The older one also goes shopping in the car, pays bills, waits for visiting technicians and acts as a vice parent if necessary since they turned 18.

Typical chores (18 & 16):
lay and clear table;
bring in wood for stove, light and maintain fire;
sort and put away clean laundry;
(on request) hang out laundry to dry; take in laundry
(on request) cook dinner
(on request) wash/ dry dishes
(on request) the older one will pick up some shopping.

I did not look on "tidying their rooms" as a chore for the good of the household, it was just something I expected them to do. My main rule about bedrooms is no eating in them.

Mine each had a weekly "paid" chore: cleaning the bathrooms for the younger one; hoovering and washing the floors for the elder one.

I should have got them to do more!!! Every now and then when I was feeling a bit overwhelmed I would make a list of chores and they would have to each pick in turn which ones they were going to do. Haven't done that for a while and not sure I would get away with it now. But really why should the DM have to do all the work? I used the line "you're practically an adult now and you're going to have to step up" quite a lot.

Draw up a list of chores agreed with each kid and display in kitchen.
I give him choice of 3 to do each day or £1 deducted off pocket money for each chore each day not done. I don't argue with him. He agreed to chores so costs him money not to comply.

Recycling out every other day minimum
Dishwasher empty daily. (Don't let him load dishwasher as half stuff wouldn't get washed!)
Set table
Clear table
Prepare or serve dessert
Hoover his room at least weekly

Agree and stick to list rigidly I'd say. Routine is what they need.
Good luck.

£20 a month for ironing all the kids clothes ?? Jeez that's not much . £20 a week yeh but a month ??

Mine are 13 and 16.
They have a set day, once a week to vaccum.
Another set day a week to empty the dishwasher.
They put their own laundry down to be washed, and away again when it's clean.
They iron anything they want ironing just before they wear it unless I already have the iron on, in which case I'll do it.
They change their own beds not as frequently as I'd like them to .

The 16yo knows how to put on a load of laundry and does so on request.

Occasionally, voluntarily, they will tidy the bathroom. DD1 will bake and if bored with clean and tidy the kitchen.

We’ve got quite a similar range of ages -
DS18 - is doing contemporary dance at a conservatoire in the same city as us, but lives away. He’s usually home at least once a fortnight and uses our washing machine and tumble dryer (but he has to do it himself). When he’s home he helps with the washing up/loading dishwasher and general cleaning of the kitchen, and hanging out washing. We have to contribute £300 a month to his uni costs on top of his loan as his course is so intense (8am-5pm every day minimum, plus evening classes) that he can’t get a job.
DD13 - her jobs are dish washing (about half by hand as our dishwasher is quite small), bringing down her laundry, doing the laundry once a month (on a rota - me, DD13, DD12, DH), hanging out the washing, keeping her side of her bedroom clean. She gets £120 a month and from that has to pay for her own phone contract (I think around £25 a month), her school dinner money (usually about £15 a week I think), and buy anything she wants/pay for any trips out she goes on. She just started earning £10 a week for refereeing little children’s hockey matches, which she’s finding pretty exciting.
DD12 - pretty much the same, although she only gets £110 because we add £10 with each birthday!! We started it when they were 11 and starting year 7, and gave £100. They share responsibilities mainly, as there’s only 17 months between them.
DD5 (6 in July, so year 1) - unloading the dishwasher, bringing down her laundry from in her laundry basket (which she has to manage), keeping her side of the room tidy.
DD2 (as of the beginning of December) - currently just keeping her side of the room tidy!

It's hard work getting kids to do chores. Usually the job takes 4 times as long because you have to show them how to do it and then keep guiding them. It's still important to get them contributing even if it takes them ages and it's not done to your standards. They eventually do it without nagging....and even do it without being reminded. My Ds is better at household tasks than his dad. Taking the time to teach them is important even if you'd be quicker doing it yourself!
My Ds (just over 20yrs old) lives at home and has done his own laundry since he was about 16. I don't ask him to do it. If he doesn't do it he has no clean clothes.
He empties dishwasher when asked. (Recently he's been doing it without being asked.)
Takes bins and recycling out when full. His version of full is different than mine but it's him who has to struggle down the stairs with recycling jenga and a heavy sometimes smell bin!
He cooks dinner for dh and himself a few times a week. (I'm on a different diet from them.)
He cleans his bathroom without being asked to now and will clean other bathroom when asked.
He actually used to like cleaning the toilet when he was much younger and found it hilarious when I told him the most important thing about cleaning the toilet was to keep your mouth closed when scrubbing with the toilet brush.
From a young age he'd hang up laundry to dry or transfer clothes from washing machine to tumble dryer. Pairing up socks was one of his jobs.
He'd help a little bit in the kitchen when younger...peeling garlic, weighing things out, hand washing dishes playing with bubbles and some chopping veg when he was capable.
I tried a chart for chores which didn't work with him at all. My dd preferred a chart.
His bedroom is a pit. His problem.
He brings his dirty dishes down without being asked to now too.
Pp wh said they don't allow kids to eat in their room.....mine would starve if he didn't!

Teens, household chores
😂😂😂
The words don't go together
😬

Dd is 14 and helps if I ask but doesn't do regular chores. I don't mind tbh after school, homework, music practice and hobbies she doesn't have lots of free time.

i used to offer money for household chores to my teen. It worked about twice, a £10 to hoover house, but money does not seem to motivate vs Xbox. Since he was 13 i stopped washing his clothes, as he hardly helped hang them to dry or fold up (not a glamorous task but it has to be done). As a working FT lone parent (with a limb injury) I told him I'm not doing his any more, unless he helps in the house. So now if he wants clean clothes he needs to put then in machine and dry out & iron himself. He has kept up the work for 3 years now, although needs reminding several times when his basket is overfull!
Otherwise he does nothing else to help at home. When i could hardly move my arm due to injury, struggled with house jobs, he would not help and just there on xbox.
When i was a kid my mum used to force us to help in kitchen and clean etc. When at university this helped me loads to survive on my own, compared to some people who did not even know how to use a washing machine!! lol!