3-4 yrs behind other kids

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In lots of ways my 13yo seems socially & emotionally behind other kids. Like he still plays with Lego (his 9yo brother has lost interest).

Glad he's own person... but I wonder how this will pan out, what to prepare for. I imagine 13yo attending local university, for instance, so he can live at home, not want to move out until at least 21.
Anyone had a kid like this who is now age 17+? Are they still noticeably socially & emotionally behind other people the same age?

(is there such a thing as emotionally or socially delayed?)

I didn’t not have any proper advice because my children are only 4 and 2 but, if it’s any consolation- I love playing with Lego and I am nearly 40! Can you put a positive spin on things- isn’t it great that he has an interest in engineering things and building and constructing? I think that there are so many unhappy and disillusioned teenagers around these days- if your son seems happy and has Lego as a hobby then he’s faring a lot better than many other kids are.

Sorry I pressed Post too soon (have had a prosecco or two this eve)- could you have a chat with school to see if there is anything they can advise? They might have a Lego club or some other building-related extra curricular activity where he can mix with others and develop his social skills if you think he needs some practise. Hope you find some better qualified advice soon- I am so clueless but I do love Lego and can never believe it to be anything but hugely positive.

It's fine he likes Lego, of course.
And still likes to do role play with it.
It's a wide range of things that tells me he's developmentally behind others.
Doesn't socialise out of school (doesn't do online, has FB account but won't use it).
Explains the world to me like a bright 8 yr old would.
"silly" behaviour (would not do in front of peers)
social awareness similar to a 5 yr old.
Other things I can't easily explain. I have other teens to compare to.

My 18yo DD has ASD. I've always said she has the intelligence of someone a decade older and the emotions and sociability of someone a decade younger.

It doesn't matter though as she'll do things at her own pace and that's just fine.

DS was labeled nightmare child in primary, but is labeled "very mature" in secondary(!!)

Mostly I am cool about DS just being DS. Just wondering how things will happen.

I have two sons, 14 and 11 and they are both not sucked into social media, neither of them have FB/snapchat/instagram. They use their phones for learning the foreign language they are doing at school.

They play online games together but we also play board games as a family and they are without a word of a lie hooked on the tv show Once Upon a Time about fairytale characters living in the real world.

They do not socialise with friends outside of school, mainly talk online whilst playing games. Ds2 still sleeps with his teddy bear and still acts like it is real.

But they are both doing great academically, I will not make them grow up too soon because they are children for such a short time. They are who they are, they are comfortable with who they are.

My friend's husband has built a whole village out of Lego. I love Lego too. Neither of us are weird

You know how 9-10yo boys will drone on and on about something they are obsessed with, without realising the other person isn't interested?

DS has just reached that stage.
I have a policy of listening to my teenagers any time they are willing to talk to me, almost no matter what (unless they are being abusive to me or I'm desperate to sleep or conflicting safety risk...), but omg it's tough to hear him carry on and on about Star Wars Lego.

I work with this age group and I would say that at 13 there is such a huge range in maturity. Some are pretty much adults, some very little boys. I would encourage your son to explore a more teeny/adult world slowly, still allowing him to take comfort in his familiar routines and toys. Is there a way of increasing his social interactions? He may not feel confident arranging to see school friends socially. Maybe suggest him and a friend go to the cinema, offer lifts and booking tickets to make it easy for him. If you are concerned speak to his HOY and see what they think, they may be able implement things at school to help.