Teens who hate each other

[BhajiAllTheWay]

I'm being driven absolutely mad. They literally cannot be in the same room without being vile to each other.It ruins any so called quantity time we have, including holidays. Yet again I've had to shut myself away in the bedroom just to escape. These are teen boys and theyre bigger than I am. Ive tried so many things but at the end of the day they have zero in common, belittle and deride each other. They then blame each other. They start from the minute they enter the same space to the moment they go to bed. I'm a single parent so have no support. One of them is a real extrovert, with a huge social life, whereas the other is focused on gaming and doesnt relate to people well, needs fixed routine and hates noise and interruption. ( has had support from CaHMS for suspected aspergers but no real solution ). Theres no tolerance at all for each other.I feel like a total failure, always caught in the crossfire. It upsets me so much and they know it too, but seem hellbent on making each other's life a misery and that's it. I'm so drained.

Im not a parent, but care for my siblings since my mam took ill and dad works full time. My 15 year old brother and 14 year old sister were exactly the same they would get in eachothers faces shout, swear and hit. Until they were sat down and told 'if you have nothing nice to say to eachother dont say anything at all' and also if they kept arguing on they would lose their xboxs, phones, recieve no money for xbox games or whatever it was they wanted to buy and be grounded until they learned its not acceptable behaviour. Of course they thought at first it was a joke and started arguing. They were punished and hated absolutely every minute of it instead of arguing they decided to sit and complain how unnatural not having their phones, Xboxs and money was. Now they rarely argue and when they do you just have to remind them what will happen if they continue and they sharp shut up and start being nice to eachother.

I have been known to impose silence or separations.

I'm kind of surprised they aren't wiley enough to start texting vile insults to each other. Anyway, the imposed silence (I have to stay there to enforce it), sometimes works. But now best thing is eldest is 18yo & mostly lives away, so he just regards venomous sibling with bemusement. 18yo is learning not to rise to provocation, thank goodness.