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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17yr old daughter 6 months pregnant

11 replies

loadsawurries · 11/12/2017 14:35

Found out yesterday in A&E that my 17 yr old is not only pregnant, but is around 24 weeks. Went in for suspected gallbladder, came out with a scan!
I have a very good, very open relationship with her and she knows I am there for her no matter what.
But oh the shock keeps hitting me and her....

Seeking some reassurance from parents who've gone through this...

OP posts:
Tinselistacky · 11/12/2017 14:37

Be there for her with no criticism and she will remember your support forever!!
I had dd at 17 and dm didn't speak to me for a year - our relationship crumbled to nc over the years.
She will be a great dm with your support - and you get to enjoy being a glamorous gm!
Congratulations!!

Justabadwife · 11/12/2017 14:39

Im not a parent of a child who has gone through this- but i am the child of a parent who has gone through this.
I was 17 when i had dd.

How is your dd? Did she have no idea? I bet it was a shock. (I know it was when i found out)
Sending hugs to her and you Flowers

MyBrilliantDisguise · 11/12/2017 14:39

Do you think she knew she was pregnant?

Justabadwife · 11/12/2017 14:41

My mum called me every name under the sun when she found out. But my nan was very excited. My mum got over it pretty quickly, and dd was the very best thing that happened.

ElfOneself · 11/12/2017 14:45

How is she feeling about it? I take it it’s a shock for her too?

As someone who was told ‘to get rid of it’ my advice, listen to her, it’s not about you (although it obviously impacts everyone!), and just support her.
My relationship is sketchy with my dm, I can’t forgive how she was. She very much had the attitude of ‘you’ve made your bed so I’m not going to help’ - I asked once, realised it was futile. Don’t be like that, that’s your grandchild in there.

letsdolunch321 · 11/12/2017 14:47

Wow, what a surprise/shock for you all.

All you can do is offer your support as you have done. My dd moved back with me when 5mths pregnant following her ex boyfriend showing signs of aggresive behaviour and cheating on my DD. She was okder than your daughter.

When she moved in with me she had nothing for the baby, we managed to get lits of goods at a good price via ebay, people selling & local area sites.

Hope it works out for you all Flowers

lljkk · 11/12/2017 16:10

Did she not know herself, How is she taking the news, OP?

TabbyTigger · 11/12/2017 23:36

Not been through it myself, but my younger sister has. She was born 1992 and her daughter born 2009, so was nearly 17 when DN was born. As long as you support her I can guarantee it won’t be the end of the world. My mum and all my siblings and I did and do our best to always be there for her - of course she was about 1000x more terrified than any of us, and it wasn’t easy, but her daughter is one of the happiest, loveliest 8 year olds I know and my sister has a stable job, and has been in a stable relationship for 7 years (not the father of DN, he was never in the picture).

What you can do - make sure she knows you’re not ashamed of her. Make sure she knows you’ll help her through every step. Especially in the early years when my sister was still trying to continue with her education we all really pitched in (luckily we were able and happy to) and looked after DN lots.

More practical things - do all the normal preparing for parenthood things. Ensure that she knows what the challenges will be, and what the expectations of her will be. Don’t be afraid to tell her how tough (but rewarding) it will be and try and make sure she maintains her school friendships as much as possible. And reassure her that it will all be fine, because it will Smile my DM and DN had a wonderful bond, and DN always says having a young mum is fun because she gets to play games her friends don’t with their mums, because her mum had way more energy. Flowers to you.

Loveache · 11/12/2017 23:41

A close friend of mine had her daughter at 17. She has had, with some family support, as good an education as anyone else and got a great job. Maybe tried harder for her daughter, she says. The dd is 18 now and my friend in her mid thirties has a great relationship with her.

Lackingimagination6 · 11/12/2017 23:48

I am the child of a teenage mother. She was and is totally brilliant.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 12/12/2017 19:57

I’ve not been there but just wondered how you are both getting on? How are you both coping? Has she seen the MW yet? I think the NCT offer free classes to 17 year olds so that might be worth looking into. You can also pick up some really good second hand stuff from NCT sales.

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