Help me not go mad - 12/13/14 year old girls

[OldGuard]

How do you get them out of the drama ?

I’m fairly sure my daughter is in the mix as much as all the others - they all think that someone else is being mean or spitefull or they are left out or left behind or included/ not included - and it changes daily - almost hourly - I’m exhausted with it all - i am keeping calm and giving what I think is good (?) advice including reviewing her own behavior where necessary, being an “includer”, walking away from drama, being kind always, not rising to the bait, apologizing if she’s hurt someone, etc etc

How do you survive 6/7/8 years of this?

Help

It’s not just girls, I have a 13 ye old son and similar stuff happens in his cohort too. Sadly he is sometimes the one left out, and I have told him to be more assertive, don’t take the shit, hang out with someone else (he has fairly wide ranging friends). It does tend to blow over once they’ve all reconnected on PS4 though. Not sure what else you can do but provide a listening ear and encourage them to be decent people and not leave others out.

www.facebook.com/linda.stade.writer/?hc_ref=ARR5dOPqUk-31_Qh2n706w-B1Q5etDn7siOApfUzJ47cbxvAf6Urbcyxoe2vasYEvEo&fref=nf

read the post on Frenemies.

I am in the same boat

Sadly you can’t dictate friendships at that age (even if you know they’re in with a bitchy bad crowd). You sound like you’re doing it just right - give advice when asked/needed, stay calm, and keep reminding DD that it is NOT the end of the world that so-and-so said this and so-and-so didn’t invite her to that. Social media definitely makes it all 100x more dramatic and open.

I think it usually clears up at 15/16 so depending on how old your DD is you might have less time left than you think?

FWIW, I have a 12yo AND a 13yo and if I hear one more story about 13th birthdays I’m probably going to hit the roof.

I nod and distract with chocolate, safe in the knowledge it will have blown over soon.

But this is dd2. With dd1 I just hid. Not much help sorry but she can hold a bloody grudge.

Thanks all - sounds like a large case of “keep calm and carry on”