Dd won’t bring her boyfriend here because she says I’m embarrassing.

[VivaLeBeaver]

She’s 16yo, they’ve been seeing each other a couple of months. Go to his house most Saturday afternoons/evenings. So she’s met his parents and say they’re nice. Don’t think she’s embarrassed by the house as she says his is a similar size (only have a 3 bed semi).

I’ve promised not to be embarrassing, have said he could come over for dinner sometime if they want.....she has dinner at his with his parents. Have said after dinner I would keep out their way and go upstairs and watch tv in my bedroom if she didn’t want to spend time upstairs with him so they could have the living room. But nope.

Is this normal? I don’t think I’m particularly embarrassing. I don’t tell bad jokes, fart at the table or anything like that. Part of me thinks I’m not that bothered but I do feel a bit bad she doesn’t want to be here.

She’s bringing him over next weekend!

Excellent OP! That's a step forward 😀

I'm wondering if you are a bit of a snob and that's the reason she isn't comfortable bringing him. It just seems odd to bring what type of house your 16yo DD's boyfriend lives in into any consideration whatsoever.

If you generally think of things in 'status' maybe she is concerned you will look down on him or tell her he isn't good enough.

No, I said I don’t think she’s embarrassed by his house as his is a similar size. I was worried she might be embarrassed that we live in a small house but then she said his was a similar size so I figured it couldn’t be that. I’m the least unsnobby person going.

I don't think OP sounds like a snob.

Agh, That she’s not embarrassed by our house, not his house. It’s our house which is small. I was worried he might live in a mansion and that’s why she doesn’t want to bring him here!

Plus if he does have a bigger house I guess they would have more space for privacy.....which may play a part because he has a conservatory apparently which they don’t, so extra space to be away from adults. Less awkwardness. Anyway, I’m pleased she is bringing him here. I didn’t want him or his parents thinking he wasn’t welcome.

To really avoid any embarrassment, be clear about what time you are returning from the gym, and don't come back early.

I didn't think she sounded like a snob either but it was the only thing I considered when she started going on about house sizes. I mean it's not really relevant in the life of a 16 year old, is it!

When mine were 16 and had friends over, they'd make some small talk polite conversation for all of two or three minutes. They would then go to their rooms with their friends
At 16 they wouldn't have sat down with me for a meal while with a friend. They would sort themselves out pizza or similar.
Mine didn't find me embarrassing but their friends mean so much to them at the age, friends really are the highlight of their lives for a few years

Hmmm, maybe my dd is a snob then. One of her friends her parents are massively wealthy and live in a mansion and I remember a few years ago dd said she was worried what er friend thought of our house. Friend didn’t seem to care at all! But their kitchen is bigger than my downstairs!