Home time?

[jemimarose]

Eldest son staying at his dads, DS is 15 years old. I think 10.30pm is too late. He is on a train and has 1% left on phone. He will be walking back from station, will take about 5 mins.

So what time do you tell your DC to be home on a Saturday night?

Mine are too young but when 15 my curfew was 10.15pm. My dad would be in the car driving round to find me at 10.16pm. I stopped bothering even trying to get home on time as getting picked up was preferrable to running a mile and a half home

Would depend on the area. And if they have to get up early next morning (DD has to be out door at 6:30am for her Sunday paper round).

I guess you want your X to have met him at the station to walk back together?

When I was 15 I had to be home by 9.30 ... even missed the end of cinema films.

DS has managed to message that he is home .... when is stays with me lights out is 10pm regardless of the night. Hmmmm not looking forward to this ....

Yes X should have met him at station, sadly I don't think X would be happy with any form of constructive criticism.

Tonite, DD got drunk messages from 2 boys in her yr (probably both 15yo). I would rather they merely walked home alone 5 minutes at 10:30, but hey ho, those parents thought them getting very tipsy at home was fine. It's clear to me that more & more of DD's social circle sees it as normal to get drunk when socialising & are helped to drink by their parents. So if I let DD socialise with those kids away from here, she'll probably get drunk, too -- what's worse, she thinks it's cool to brag about being a "heavy weight" who can hold her liquor.

I guess we all have to let go, at some point.

"Lights out" at 10pm sounds particularly early for a whole household to be asleep.
My 16 yr old is my youngest. We've never had a fixed time - either to be in, or to go to sleep.
In terms of going to sleep, they are all different and all need to learn to self regulate.
In terms of being out, what time they need to be in will obviously depend on all sorts of things - not least what time the activity they are doing, finishes. It would be ridiculous to miss the end of a film, or concert, or meeting or whatever. It would be equally ridiculous to be out until late every night if having to get up early. More important, to me is sensible arrangements for getting home, and being 'at' something, not just 'hanging around'.

I'd expect 14.5 year old DD generally to be back by 9.30pm. But if she was going somewhere that finished later than that I'd be flexible up to around 11pm. She's done drama rehearsals and babysitting where she's been out to 11pm.