Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Getting up in the morning!

13 replies

MissDemelzaCarne · 15/11/2017 14:22

I'm a morning person, fortunately as I need to be up at 05:40 and on the road by 06:30 4 days a week.

DH and DD are owls rather than larks and are both still up and pottering long after I've turned in for the night.

DD, 17 has just started Sixth Form at the same time that the school bus has been cancelled resulting in DH taking her to school most morning, making himself late doing so.

I'm on a day off today so witnessed first hand how awful she is at getting up. I cajoled, reasoned,shouted, removed her duvet and other more drastic measures but all to no avail.

She was hideously late and then the postman arrived with the second letter from school advising me that I need to ensure she arrives at school in time - HOW??

OP posts:

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 15/11/2017 17:19

I ended up paying my DD to be on time! Even then I had to be crafty. £20 a week if no late days. 4 pound off for every late day and zero if 3 or more late. Had to do that for about 5 weeks then she seemed to get the habit. Ok so it was 20 quid but to be honest, I was usually giving her spending money for parties, friends birthday presents etc on a fairly regular basis anyway so i probably wasn't any more out of pocket. I know others won't agree but I leave for work before her and the letters from school were stressing me out so it was (for me) a small price to pay for my sanity. She's got a part time job now and is never late for it or school.

Original poster

MissDemelzaCarne · 15/11/2017 17:54

Money may have been a great motivator a few moths ago, before she got a part time job, and I wouldn't have ruled out bribery but she's got a healthy bank balance now.

OP posts:

TeeBee · 15/11/2017 17:58

Errr, she's nearly an adult. I would let her feel the consequences of not turning up on time. Sadly, life is such that if you don't get up on time for work, you get sacked. Best she learns this now. This approach (however harsh it might seem) works for my younger teens. You're late, you don't get a lift and you certainly don't get to make anyone else late...then you have to walk. They've had to feel the consequence of that once or twice...but once or twice was all they needed to become responsible.

mineofuselessinformation · 15/11/2017 18:00

Tell DH to develop a sudden need to hoover outside dd's bedroom door in the morning.... It's guaranteed to shift them!

calamityjam · 15/11/2017 18:02

TeeBee, only if you want to end up in court. Parents are responsible for children up to 18 getting to school and on time. If they fail to do this, they could land you in serious trouble.

OuchBollocks · 15/11/2017 18:05

Does she need lifts to and from work? If so tell her to get her arse.out of bed on time for school or it's bye bye job and money, seeing as she's clearly too tired to cope with both.

rogueantimatter · 15/11/2017 18:06

My DD was the same. It was horrendous. So stressful.

Even when the school,withdrew her sixth form privileges she wouldn't get up. She did for a bit then slipped into her old habits.

I would phone the school.

NapQueen · 15/11/2017 18:07

I would contact the school and say "you are welcome to enforce whatever consequence is in your policy for persistent lateness, and you will have my full support".

She is 17. She should be the one to suffer the consequences of her lateness, not you and dh.

Starting tomorrow, you and dh need to be saying "I am leaving at 8am. If you are not in the car, then I am not waiting for you". And stick to your word.

TeeBee · 15/11/2017 18:16

In court for making your child walk to college instead of getting a lift with mummy and daddy?? Ok then. My 12 year old understands that if you don't get ready on time to get the lift, you miss the lift. You miss the lift and you're late, you're responsible for whatever punishment the school/college doles out. Such is life.

Original poster

MissDemelzaCarne · 15/11/2017 21:34

Her part time job is just a few hours on a Sunday and doesn't start until 11:00 so she can cope with that and coincides with me popping out for coffees and a paper.

I think I'll phone the school tomorrow before her next detention for lateness. I was hoping for less of this crap once she was in Sixth Form but sadly not.

I would just drive off without her but DH is too soft.

OP posts:

TeeBee · 16/11/2017 01:35

It sounds too me as though she needs a big dose of reality.

Mum2OneTeen · 16/11/2017 01:52

Watching this thread with interest. I have a 17yr DD who has also suddenly become a bit of a nightmare to get up & moving in the mornings.

She gets woken up in plenty of time then just faffs around so that she is still doing up laces/brushing hair/eating breakfast as we drive her up to the highway in time to catch the school bus. I wish she'd just get up & out of bed and ready. It's the same routine she's had since kindergarten, you think she'd have the knack of it by now.

It's late spring here, so not dark or cold in the mornings atm. I'm thinking or sending the dog in to wake her up a bit earlier each morning as an incentive for her to get moving. So it's 7am now, obviously "not enough time" so then we'll move on to 6.45am and so on.

parkerbean · 16/11/2017 20:00

Tell her that your DH is getting a bad record at work and might lose his job so she needs to shift her ass out of bed when the alarm goes off pronto. Every day.

Flip