Who pays for:

[PurpleYam]

Hairdresser, barber, waxing?

Our teens have small allowances, so we pay for all basics, but if they want something fancier they save up. Eg I'll buy own-brand underwear, toiletries, school supplies etc in multipacks while doing a supermarket shop, if they want the fancier one-at-time stuff, or famous names, they buy it themselves. If I'm budgeting £60 for a winter coat, but they want one that costs more, they pay the difference.

Can't decide where personal grooming fits. You need underwear, shampoo, pens etc, but you don't need haircuts. They count as luxuries to be saved up for or given as gifts. OTOH if a boy wants to keep his hair neatly trimmed, that isn't a luxury (and it's vastly cheaper than a girl's haircut!). What about waxing? Luxury or standard personal grooming?

Totally makes sense pinkliquorice

Dd's never asked for waxing.
She dyes her hair at home, I'll buy it sometimes, other times she will, she's never asked for a haircut!
That makes her sound like an uninterested Yeti, she's not but she's ASD and doesn't like being touched, she sorts out her own grooming.

If you can afford to - which is crucial here - why wouldn't you pay

Which is how I feel. It feels churlish to refuse to pay when I can afford it but I am aware I need DC to get to grips with the value of money

Waxing/hair removal for teenage girls isn't a luxury if they're going to be teased about it/feel self conscious.
However - waxing at a salon is. Boots sell lovely wax strips which you can do yourself or a nice razor.
I'd count wax strips/razors as a basic like shampoo or sanitary towels and pay.
I may not pay for it to be done depending on money/finance. Though on the other hand if they're going to pay for it themselves, you wouldn't want them going somewhere cheap as there's a risk of infection (the only operation I've ever had was related to an abscess after a wax in a dodgy place)

Only one teenager still but during sixth form we paid for most things. They had allowances for everyday needs and an account at Grubbies but we paid for what we’d consider non luxury items:

• contacts
• phone
• toiletries (Aussie shampoo and conditioner, deodorant, toothpaste and brushes, tampons, shaving foam and razors, hair wax etc)
• tights and socks
• haircuts including highlights as needed
• waxing pre travelling or holidays
• clothing including undies and nightwear
• sports wear and equipment
• uniform
• travel costs
• extra for parties/ weekends or holidays at friends etc
• laptops, chargers etc

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They had allowances for everyday needs and an account at Grubbies

Where is Grubbies-I've never heard of that?

It feels churlish to refuse to pay when I can afford it but I am aware I need DC to get to grips with the value of money

This.

Mine aren’t old enough yet but I’d view haircuts and razors a necessity, waxing for a girl if they were dark haired and actually wanted the offending hair gone.

DS (21) is working for this year (internship for a year) and pays for all his own stuff at this stage.
We pay for anything that 17 year old dd asks for.