15 Year Old Son Is Obsessed With Messaging girls, some he does not actually know!

[clairetoon72]

My 15 year old son has myself and his dad very concerned. he spends all of his time on social media messaging girl, some he knows, some he does not. When asked about it he denies it, yet we see the messages! He has found himself in trouble at school as he has been keen on. girl, who is not interested in him, but he refuses to give up. I really don't know what to do and was hoping that someone may have some advice. He is a kind hearted boy and not malicious in any way, but in his desperation to have a girlfriend he seems obsessed with messaging girls.

Long Ines I've agreed she needs to talk to him about this and make social boundaries clear but honestly it is a different world now - dd wasn't threatened by this stuff at all.

GreenTulips we have family sharing on iPhone, they also have to enter a password they don't know to download any apps etc

"they also have to enter a password they don't know to download any apps etc"

Oh dear... ignorance is bliss ey?!

It doesn’t matter that it’s just friendly, he’s doing it with the intention of asking the girl out and harassing them.

You’re minimising it by saying he’s just being friendly, it’s only one girl etc.
I think you’re just afraid of admitting that your son is pestering many girls and harassing/stalking them.

Taking his phone away won’t stop the issue, you need to tell him that this isn’t just a case of getting in trouble with the school but that if the girls parents wanted to involve the police, they could do that and he could end up with a criminal record which will prevent certain employment in the future.

honestly it is a different world now - dd wasn't threatened by this stuff at all.

Noeuf, I see what you're saying, and I'm glad your daughter hasn't been harassed too much or has taken the harassment in her stride, but I really think it's victim-blaming to suggest to the mother of the boy that the girl he's harassing needs to deal with the harassment differently for it to stop.

Perhaps you've not been harassed much by men (or perhaps you're not female), but harassment, whether online or in person can be really intimidating, causes a lot of stress and makes the victim feel very unsafe.

It's one thing for a boy/man to get rejected by a girl (which seems to be what's happened with your DD) but if they won't take no for an answer and keep pestering her despite her refusal, she shouldn't feel that's her fault and she should be able to get help and protection.

Supersharp no ignorance involved at all, I set the phones up and their passwords. They have rules and they stick to them. With iPhone family settings everything also gets notified to my account, so even if they did manage to guess the password (which is highly doubtful) I would he notified of any purchase/download

So they NEVER use someone elses phone or computer anywhere else EVER? ok.

My reply was in regards to them having Snapchat accounts and me not being aware of them. I know my DCs, using an app on someone else's device wouldn't cut it, they would ask we would discuss and take it from there, as we have done with any social media, they know it's the only way to go

Long ones I get that (and I'm female) but I didn't read the op as pestering. If I'm wrong and it's several messages to the same girl when she isn't responding that's different .
I disagree it's victims blaming however unless she is being harassed.

Sorry longines