International move with DD11 - need advice

[VegemiteToast]

Hi everyone! DH and I have decided to return to Australia, after 13 years in England. During our time here, we had DD who is now 11. We are feeling worried about telling DD that we're moving to Sydney in July next year.

We know she loves seeing her family in Australia and enjoys the lifestyle, but we are concerned about her adjustment. She loves England and has expressed a desire to live in Europe forever, so I do feel guilty about potentially breaking her heart when it is time to go.

Any advice about breaking it to her and managing this change and making our last year in England as happy as possible would be appreciated. We want this to be as smooth as possible for our family of three. Thank you

We made almost exactly the same move OP! My DD's were 11 and 7 when we moved.

It was FINE!

I was so worried...but I dressed it up as all positive and it was. She made friends and all was good.

Don't focus on the worry of it all...focus on the positives...social media will allow her to keep up with friends

Thank you, Mrs - I absolutely appreciate it! DH and I are so excited to return to Sydney permanently, but we are hopeful that DD will adjust quickly. She misses the beach back in Australia whenever we return, so maybe I'll try pushing that angle!

I'm happy that your lovely DDs were beyond fine, it gives me hope. How have they gone with staying in touch with friends? I'm thinking of encouraging DD to keep a blog, with photos and stories of her move so her friends will be able to see what she's been getting up to, not sure if it's a good idea though.

I just left my older DD to it and she soon befriended her old mates on Instagram...she is friends on there with all of her old mates which is lovely.

One old school friend has been to visit us with her Dad who was good friends with DH..

The main thing my older DD noted was that Aussie kids are less interested in clothing labels and makeup...but that could be where we live which is a bit rural!

It's a good age to move OP...and so much here is similar to the UK. Shopping is improving all the time!

I'm so happy to read that, Mrs. DD will be 12 when we move and starting year 7. We expect to leave around July, but don't quite have a fixed month yet. What month did you move with your girls? I'm stuck between wanting to move at the end of the UK school year and between Christmas, but it's such an awkward time.

I love how you mentioned that about brands and makeup! I have two teenage nieces in Sydney. We visit just about every year and I find that they're not really into brands and makeup either! I wasn't sure if it was just us though It'll make such a lovely change from all the saturation I find our girls experience in the UK. DH is from London while I'm from Sydney, but just knowing that we're returning permanently makes me feel like I'm coming home again.

Ahh, I'm just so happy for you. I hope our experience will be as smooth I'm feeling so much better now. How did you tell them? We've been talking about it with DD, but talking about it is far different to actually doing it.

So sorry for all the questions

We also moved in July :)

In our case it's DH who'se Australian and I'm the Brit.

With regards to when to start her at a new school, we kept ours out until January when the new Aussie school year begins.

It was a calculated decision as we needed time, we felt to select the right area and school...and we wanted to take our time and not feel rushed or choose somewhere and then realise it was wrong.

As UK kids move through the system faster, it felt to DD as though she'd gone back a year but the children were more or less where she was academically anyway. So she realised it was "the same" but different.

Those 5 months were invaluable and I let DD do as she pleased. I didn't have work to go to so I was able to explore with her and younger DD.

In terms of how to tell them, as far as I can remember, we kept mentioning it. Then the mentioning became "If we moved to Australia, it might be a good idea because you could do X"

And then we just said "We think it's the best thing to do"

I'd tell her after Christmas if I were you. That's 6 months for her to get used to it but she won't be thinking about it over Christmas.

And time moves a lot more slowly for children even at 11-12.

Thank you so much. You have zero idea how much clarity you've helped give me.

I've been thinking the same, in that regard. To be fair, I have little idea about the Aussie curriculum, so it brings me comfort to know that UK kids are further ahead. I don't want to rush DD into school just yet after the July school holidays as I know it's a massive change for her. I do want to take that time for her to get to know Australia, to properly show her my favourite places and to allow her to feel as if she really belongs. I know she'll benefit from having that time together and from not being under pressure to get on with the show as soon as she's landed.

She loves holidaying in Australia but I honestly hope that she likes living here. We've been sorting out applications with a few schools and getting on their waiting lists for 2019. It feels a lot more real now.

Great idea on telling her after Christmas. The last thing I want is for her to be lamenting that this is her last Christmas with snow! I hope she'll adjust to the 35 degree days in summer Sometimes, I forget how little 11 really is. What would be your biggest piece of advice to us, as we make the move?

We decided on this breakpoint between high school and primary, for that reason. I feel like DH and I are more secure with our plans, partly because we know where we're returning to and what we're doing. I just hope she'll be beyond fine with it when we tell her. She's so proud of being a Londoner (and still sleeps with her Portly Panda from birth haha). However, she will benefit from experiencing two different ways of living and it's really what's best for our family.

My biggest advice would be to bring plenty of decent English clothes!

The clothes and textiles here really have to be seen to be believed!

There's a LOT of manmade bedding on sale for really hideous prices.

The kind of thing you see in the cheapest of cheap UK stores for bedding is sold here in what you'd think should be quality shops!

Also...we were careful to make sure our DC were able to bring ALL their toys and treasures.

I didn't want them to resent me ...as in..."You made me throw away my bear!" later in life :D

We had to send boxes of stuff to Oz but we didn't bring any of our furniture as it was all a bit rubbish.

Thank you! I'll make sure to load up on textiles! I remember returning and looking for a sheet set when I was in Sydney to visit family - the price was absolutely crazy. Couldn't believe it!

I'll have to remind myself to breathe and take all the things haha. I think we'll definitely throw our furniture as we only really bought it with the intention of staying for about five to seven years. The logistics and planning for clothes is killing me as we're planning on arriving around July / August. I remember that it was still decently cold and windy around September on the east coast, but it wouldn't surprise me if DD was running around in shorts and a tee given the weather she's used to Took me ages to adjust to UK temps!