Not sure where to start as I actually don't have children and its my nephew (my wifes sisters boy)
He's almost 16 and i'm 35 and iv'e known him from about age 3 and we've been close but his parents have had issues in there marriage for years but the last 18 months they have split up.
His mother is not very mentally stable and over the bank holiday she had a issue with her electric shower I sold her and she decided its my fault and I better sort it out. By text we had argument and she tells her son i'm a evil bully etc. He texts me calling me a few nasty words so I called him and said you better look at your mums phone as she lying about what I said. He hangs up on me and I texted him the messages and I said point out where I am in the wrong and where I threatened her? And you better apologize otherwise me and you are done. No answer. Not only that her daughter who is 21 she tries to turn her against me but she knew the truth and said i'm keeping out of this.
Both parents are not very good to there kids. The dad hasn't spoken to his daughter in about 2 months maybe more and his son he bothers with once every couple weeks if he can be bothered. He'll take his new gf on holiday but he has no money to treat his kids and he goes clubing almost every weekend. There mum is on some sort medication for mental illness but in my opinion shes not taking it, she meet a guy online and for a while would just disappear every Wed to spend the night with this guy leaving her son home, and if one of the kids wanted to spend time with mates over the weekend she would selfishly start crying and make them feel guilty so they stayed in. I told them both just got out have fun she'll still be crying when you get home. Which my sound harsh but I told them its not your job to look after her.
Iv'e always felt responsible to try and help them and my niece is lovely and no trouble but my nephew is slowly turning into his parents. We've not spoken now for 2 weeks as I was really angry with him and i'm starting to worry a little bit. End of the day you can't choose your family and i'm not sure if I should speak to him and say we need to sort things out or just leave until he speaks to me? Last summer I had to let him down as a friend died and there was a memorial for him. My nephew just told me to poke it up my back side and bother taking him out. I know he has issues but I just think he can't speak to me like that?
His sister doesn't really bother with him much as he is really horrible to her but I know checking on find my friends on my phone he literally is just sitting in his room not doing anything. Should I feel guilty or has he brought this on his self?
I had a very strict upbringing and iv'e tried not to be like my dad but being soft just is not working on him. Whenever I moan at him and say stuff like have a shower and brush your teeth he just flips out at me and says i'm picking on him but I don't people thinking he is dirty and when he leaves school he won't get a job if he smells. Don't know what to do?
Sorry if iv'e gone on. There is a lot more issues than this but i'd be all night typing. My wife thinks he lashes out at me because he knows I treat him like a son and ill never leave him not matter what he does but i'm at my limit.