Took DS(14) shopping this evening to get a new bag for school and it turned out to be a heartache and disaster.!
It started when we finally found a new bag bag for him that his current bag(which he had on him) would easily fit inside. Which I told him to do and he huffed and puffed about his old bag getting wrecked. I said it won't get wrecked it's tiny in comparison! So I showed him how it would fit and he still huffed and puffed and said it's an expensive bag (£500! more on this in a min) after getting the bag we went to get some food and he was all quiet and weird with me.
Basically he's annoyed at me because I stopped contact with his paternal family. This was about 3months ago.
Back story is: ex (DS dad) was abusive physically and mentally. I was with him for four years until I could finally escape when he was sent to prison for being a drug dealer. I've been open with DS regarding his dad and told him about the drug dealing and the abuse. DS does not believe me because his paternal family have told him it never happened.
They had only been in his life for less than 6months before I stopped contact. Before that they had not bother to contact him until they found him on fb.
I had previously gone to court for 4 and half years fighting them for contact and custody. They received contact of 6times a year at a contact centre in July 2012 an saw him twice in three months after that court date, then they didn't bother. Didn't hear anything from them. 2014 I had to get a restraining order against DS dad as he found out where I worked and came in threatening to smash my head in etc. DS believes none of this and that they couldn't see him at the contact centre as it was expensive etc ( I think it was £50 for a contact session)
This made me angry and I said 'well if he can afford to buy you a brand new iPhone 7, £500 bag and a £5000 bangle (I kid you not) then why could he afford £50 to see you?!'
DS had no answer to it and simply said but I want to see them again.
No
They made my life hell for starters.
They were abusive not only ex but his family too.
They don't care about you one bit.
In the last three months they haven't bothered once to contact me.
I stopped contact as DS was turning into something he wasn't. All this money being thrown around at him (even though his dad isn't a drug dealer 'apparently' and doesn't work hence the £5 a week CSA) talks of shopping trips to Milan where he'd have to miss a Monday off school. Designer this designer that. School work suffering as he's spend his Sundays with paternal family and not come home until later and then rushing his homework. His attitude changing towards me and his little sister (Dd - 5) maybe a minor thing but DS had always had long hair, (below shoulder) since he was about 6, until paternal family persuaded him to cut it off, 'as boys shouldn't have long hair'. DS cut hair off and cried about how much he hated it and he wanted his hair back. He's growing it again. BUT STILL he doesn't understand why he can't see them. I've poured my heart out to him. I know he's 14 and doesn't understand properly but surely he should have respect for me and try to accept it.
May I add he walked off from me and refused to get into the uber home twice! Saying he didn't want to come home.
He's apologised but I'm so emotionally drained I just told him to go to bed as he's back at school tomorrow.
I don't even know what this post is about now it's turned into a mega rant