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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Should DD18 quit her job?

42 replies

flyingtnx · 05/09/2017 19:41

DD is 18 and in college, she is doing an extra year due to dropping out in her first year but is now due to finish in may 2018. She is looking to go to uni in September 2018 and has decided on her uni and course. She however has just gotten a part time job this month, she doesn't mind the job but now wants to quit to focus on her college work and be able to concentrate on getting into university and the right grades. I don't like the idea of her leaving already after only a few shifts, she works 20 hours a week, £5.55ph and in fast food restaurants. What would you suggest? I was proud of her getting the job so she could pay for her phone, driving lessons, holidays, etc. what do you think she should do?

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Original poster

flyingtnx · 05/09/2017 20:12

her time management is awful for college which she is motivated to fix this year and to get all the top grades she only just finished on time. I think the reality of seeing all her friends going to uni now has sunk in and she's realised what she wants. She's putting a foundation degree as her insurance just in case she doesn't get enough ucas points for the actual degree she wants to do but I don't want her to settle for that when I know she wants the bachelors honours degree course

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Original poster

flyingtnx · 05/09/2017 20:15

also forgot to mention her Saturday mornings 8am - 11am are spend at her volunteering job which she has got to support her uni applications as her college subject isn't relevant to her uni course so wanted something to help her look good. She loves that job and I know she won't want to give that up as it looks brilliant on Her personal statement and she enjoys that x

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Original poster

flyingtnx · 05/09/2017 20:17

@OhTheRoses wow oxford is incredible!! Congratulations to your DS and also to your DD, can't imagine how proud you are of the two of them x

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MrsJayy · 05/09/2017 20:17

The Supermarkets will be looking soon 1 of my Dc got a christmas temp job in Sainsbury and was kept on did her through uni she did between 12-16hrs

JennyHolzersGhost · 05/09/2017 20:19

20 hours work plus GCSE resit plus A Levels plus Saturday volunteering plus delicate mental health is a recipe for disaster I'm afraid.

Original poster

flyingtnx · 05/09/2017 20:21

Starting to understand a bit more now after posting here. I thought she was being silly and was just getting used to a new job but she is under a lot of pressure. don't we all just wish we had the world in our hands to give them so they didn't feel they have to go out and work so much to pay for things:(

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TheUnseenAcademic · 05/09/2017 20:22

At 17 I resigned from a fast food job on my second shift (!). Got a Saturday job in a nice health food shop which worked really well. I couldn't have done more and succeeded in my A levels. My university also didn't allow students to do paid work during term time (some people did, but you got in trouble if you were found out). Terms were only 8 weeks though, so lots of time for holiday work.
Having taught A levels for a number of years, I'd say one day a week (ie Sat/Sun) is ok, but any more than that will likely have an impact on work. A level students are expected to undertake significant independent work, including evenings and some weekend work. Given what your daughter has overcome, anything you can do to support her in focusing on academic work (and her mental health) would be a good thing, I think.
I also think that extra-curricular activities are just as useful on a ucas personal statement as jobs are!

TheUnseenAcademic · 05/09/2017 20:23

Just read about the volunteering job- she should keep that and cut her paid work as far as possible! She doesn't need driving lessons etc right now, I guess.

Original poster

flyingtnx · 05/09/2017 20:28

was thinking if anyone thinks it's a good idea. if she raises her volunteering hours maybe a couple more hours and promises her grades are top marks as well as helping around the house a bit more that she can leave her job. Although I can't afford so many luxuries for her as I struggle myself I will pay her £20 phone bill per month, £10/£20 a week for spending depending on all of this to include her clothes, makeup, meet ups with friends etc. However her gym membership I know I can't afford anymore so will have to cut that which i know she will be upset about as it's where she goes to clear her mind or when she's having a bad day, feeling down etc but unfortunately the small £17 per month is out of my range

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Original poster

flyingtnx · 05/09/2017 20:29

Also really appreciative that you're all taking time to help me with this. I'm starting to see things from her perspective x

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junebirthdaygirl · 05/09/2017 20:42

That is too much for her when she has to study too. She will end up panicking and not doing well. In lreland during important exam years students might do a few hours on a saturday but thats all. Her long term goals are more important.

MrsJayy · 05/09/2017 20:45

I think it is fine to give her an allowance say a month to keep her going but when it is gone its gone we don't all have a money tree out the back. Dd2 struggles a bit and doesn't have a job atm but we give her money and she has a small student loan but we can't afford to doll out cash for this that and the other.

MrsJayy · 05/09/2017 20:48

See if you give her a set amount each month it gives her control of her money so if she would rather have the Gym that a pair of jeans then it is up to her iyswin

AJPTaylor · 05/09/2017 23:17

I agree. Offer her an allowance of whatever you can manage. She sounds great. Well done her for getting back on track. She will manage.

5rivers7hills · 06/09/2017 08:16

20 hours work plus GCSE resit plus A Levels plus Saturday volunteering plus delicate mental health is a recipe for disaster I'm afraid

^This

Original poster

flyingtnx · 06/09/2017 18:04

How much spending money etc do you all recommend I give her?

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VioletCharlotte · 06/09/2017 18:41

I think 20 hours is too much when she's doing A-levels. 8-12 is probably about right.

£5.55 is not great money. Depending on what the job market is like where you are, she may be able to get somewhere where she can work more hours for a better hourly rate. She's for some experience now to put in her cv, and 18 year olds are much more employable than 16 year olds as they can serve alcohol, etc. 18 year olds here seem to be averaging about £7ph.

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