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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

How can I help DD deal with this?

14 replies

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 05/09/2017 06:47

DD, 13, was scouted by a modelling agency over the summer holidays. She has a shoot lined up for October half term. It's one of the big three, so they are legit, and, although I have many feminist reservations, DD was beyond excited, and I have said she can go to the shoot, and see what happens.

I have always thought DD is beautiful, as any mother does, but for the past couple of years friends have been commenting that she should apply to modelling agencies. She does have a pretty face, and is tall and very, very slim (both dh and I were very slight until our late 20s, and are both still quite trim).

At school, DD is very geeky, in all the top sets, never had a boyfriend, wears glasses and hair scraped back. It's a great confidence boost for her. However, her best friend has always dreamed of being a catwalk model. Said best friend is as tall as DD, and is already a size 12. I am NOT in any way saying there is anything wrong with this, but I think it's highly unlikely an agency would look twice at her (much as this makes my blood boil), because she doesn't have a 23" waist and 31" hips. Best friend doesn't know yet, and DD is going to tell her tomorrow. Obviously I don't know for definite what her reaction will be, but I've know best friend since her and DD were 4, and I think she will be jealous. Heck, at 13 if my friend had had the opportunity to pursue MY dream, I would have been spitting mad.

What can DD do to temper this? I am a bit concerned because best friend is a bit of Queen Bee amongst the geek girls, and could potentially make DDs life quite unpleasant :(

OP posts:

Garliccalamari · 05/09/2017 06:55

Don't let DD tell her, it is not her place. Just let her friend go to an agency gerself and let the agency turn her down. Otherwise your DD will have done it in her eyes.

Original poster

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 05/09/2017 06:58

No, I mean DD is going to tell her about being scouted herself! She would never say that best friend wouldn't be!

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HerOtherHalf · 05/09/2017 07:04

It is what it is. All she can do is tell her and hope she has the good grace to be pleased for your dd rather than jealous. I suspect it's not just bf that might react resentfully and dd may find she experiences bitchiness from other classmates too. Best advice you can give her is to show some humility, don't make a big thing about it or shove it in everyone's face.

Devilishpyjamas · 05/09/2017 07:05

Does dd have to tell her? Chances are it'll be a one off shoot. My son has been in/done a lot of acting related stuff that he doesn't breathe a word of to anyone at school because he says he would get grief. When his friends stumble across something he has done it tends to mean the banter is good natured (& often very funny).

Original poster

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 05/09/2017 07:06

Yes, you're right. Humility is not always her strong point. I guess there might be a few sharp lessons coming up this week...

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Original poster

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 05/09/2017 07:08

No, she doesn't have to tell her, of course. But she is excited about it, and also I think she would feel that she was hiding things if she didn't. She's well aware that it might come to nothing.

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TanteRose · 05/09/2017 07:09

yeah, must admit, I would advise just not telling her.
it will most probably come to nothing - she's only 13 and I hope she's got more aspirations than to be model. Its hardly an ambitious dream for the long term.

Devilishpyjamas · 05/09/2017 07:09

Honestly she is better off not saying anything. It's a strategy that has worked very well for my son. If she starts working she will make friends with others doing the same & can share stuff with them. The rest of the teen world (not just her best friend) won't want to know.

endofthelinefinally · 05/09/2017 07:10

I would advise her not to talk about it at school at all.
She will regret it.
It may be a fantastic experience but may not go anywhere.
Teenage girls can be really jealous and nasty.

LEMtheoriginal · 05/09/2017 07:11

What if your dd is so sucked in by modelling that school work takes second place to it? I'm sorry but I couldn't allow my dd to do this and yes unless her friends are saints she will see a change in attitude. I think it's asking for trouble.

Original poster

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 05/09/2017 07:15

She won't be able to be so sucked into modelling, I have two other children, and we don't live in London. Hmmm. I think her friend might well find out anyway, as we were with a different friend when she was scouted, and he is not good at keeping things to himself!

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DressedCrab · 05/09/2017 07:33

I was scouted many, many years ago and there was some jealousy to start with but my friends got over it. It was an excellent way of earning money while I was a student and supplemented my grant nicely.

I only took jobs that didn't interfere with my studies and it was never what I wanted as a career. It was lots of fun, most of the time, although some other girls could be quite fierce.

SuperStormborn · 05/09/2017 20:37

She probably doesn't even need to say anything. Word will get round and it's pretty obvious how nasty and jealous other girls can be. Unless she becomes the next Kate Moss, then no it's probably best not to say anything. Best of luck to your DD.

Original poster

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 16/09/2017 07:45

Thanks all. Best friend apparently said "if you get some jobs, I'll come to London with you and we'll get a Pan n Ice!" They then talked about what flavour they would have. She hasn't told anyone else. So, back down to earth, and no traumas. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

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