Found used condom in DDs (15) room

[MajesticWhine]

I found it in a drawer. I wasn't snooping I was looking for something. I'm glad in a way that she has decided to have safe sex but disappointed she has decided to have sex at her age. She has a boyfriend also aged 15, but it seems a very casual relationship. Apart from advising her on her disgusting personal hygiene (is it so hard to wrap it up and throw it away?) I don't really know what to say to her. I can't change what's happened and if she's having sex then no doubt she will continue to do so. But I feel I have to say something. Just trying to work out exactly what.

Codons aren't that safe though. You should sort out some contraception

Yes good idea about the pill. My concern would be she might then not bother with condoms. Better to be using both.

Just to clarify ... you found a used condom in your daughters room??

If that's the case, she must be having sex in your house? How is that happening?

I remember being 15.... shudders

Better to find a condom than a pregnancy test.

I don't think offering to take her to get the pill is a great idea. Reminding her that she can access family planning services herself and letting her know that if she would like you to go with her, you will, is better. Give her some information about accessing them.

Doowapwap- how do you think it's happening? Presumably OP isn't housebound and in the home 24/7!

DH and I both work full time out of the house so there has been plenty of chance the whole summer holiday. Also we were away for a couple of nights with youngest child and we let DD1 and DD2 stay at home, (17 and 15) so it could have happened then.

I think it's strange how many MNers say they hate the pill and won't put themselves through it and then stick their young daughters on it.

She's using condoms. She's being smart. Don't make her feel she has to be on hormonal bc and let her research it for herself

Actually my big talk would be about consent, porn, safety. Making sure she's not feeling pressured and actually enjoying anything she does

DD is quite independent about going to the GP by herself so I will suggest it to her rather than take her. She might be worried that concerns would be raised by the GP because she is under 16.

I did something similar for fear of my parents finding/seeing them in the rubbish
We didn't talk about sex when I was that age, it was taboo in my household.
I'd just let her know that you're there for a chat and that you're glad she's being safe - but bin it!

do you have a young person's sexual health clinic near you? She won't get the lectures just good advice

As the horse has bolted, ask her

A) to wrap and bin
B) to get hormonal contraception
C) to keep using condoms

Is it very old fashioned to expect the man to dispose of his own spunky condom?

I wouldn't be recommending the pill - condoms protect from stds unlike the pill and the temptation to not bother with a condom when on the pill is high. Not to mention the screwy things the pill does to your body. Buy her loads of condoms! Or get them free at the family planning clinic.

Just had a brief chat with her. "None of your business" and "you shouldn't look through my stuff" was the main part of her response. But I didn't show any horror disapproval so hopefully I have kept lines of communication open. Talked briefly about whether it's what she wants, whether this is a proper relationship, asking her if she felt pressured. Made her aware she can use another form of contraception as well.
Sigh. I bloody hate being a mum of teenagers sometimes.

Are you confident that she wasn't pressurised and that she'll continue to use condoms? If so, there's not much more you can do. You have handled this well.

Do you have a Brooke Advisory Clinic or anything like that near you?

I think you have handled it well too.