freedom at 14

[Keehar256]

My 14 year old DD wants to stay out until 10pm. Its dark by 8.30, but she thinks I'm being too controlling.. I know she has to have room to make her own mistakes and I have to trust her to be sensible. I can't wrap her up in cotton wool, but I spend the whole time she's out thinking that the worst is going to happen.
I know I need to chill , but how?? We've agreed on 9.30 not a minute later. I can't think straight until she's home..

My 15 year old is home by 9/9.30 unless he's 'somewhere' eg he's at a friend's and finishing watching a film, or at the cinema/skatepark. I don't let him hang around aimlessly till 10.

10 definitely too late. Sounds like you've reached the right compromise i' d say. And once it's winter nights I'd say a bit earlier.

Depends where you mean by out?

I wasn't even allowed to just wander around at 14 let alone late in the evening. All the way up until I finished high school I would come home at 9/9:30 unless I was doing something in particular and had arranged somewhere to spend the night/a lift home.

9:30 sounds reasonable, depends on her maturity & environment (is she hanging around rough areas, are the people with her ones that you trust etc.)

What do you consider "out"?