12 year old DS choosing to misbehave. Losing friends

[gembot83]

Hi all,

I'm at my wits end. My 12 year old DS has had a nightmare year. His 1st year of secondary school he was constantly in trouble. Choosing to hang around with the kids with bad reputations through fear of being called a teachers pet, consequently getting a reputation himself as a 'wrong un'. He is very immature and seems to be years behind his peers. He has pushed away his friends and even made enemies out of some of them. He's got a bad attitude towards adults, I see other mothers saying their boys are the same, but whenever I come across their sons they're very respectful young men.

I don't know what to do with him anymore. I've spoken to him about life choices and he nods along - then goes back to how he was before. This is a choice he's making. He can be an angel when he thinks there is something to gain from it. Then back to a pain again when he has what he wants.. Anyone been here and come out of it?!

I could have written the above post word for word

Consequence for his behaviour is what I try. Electricals removed for 24 hours for bad behaviour works a little.

Tell him when his attitude kicks in that it makes you sad.
Try not rise to his bait as he wants confrontation for his entertainment.

I've tried the consequences thing. He seems indifferent. The only thing that bothers him is his phone, but even then he's not that visibly bothered. So frustrating because I want him to have a good life and I feel like all I do is tell him off.