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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

My daughter's relationship with her father.

22 replies

SandraLipton112 · 22/08/2017 17:49

Hi , I don't know if I should be concerned but this is a subject that makes me uneasy. I don't have any children of my own but I married a man with a daughter who's mother died when she was six. I love her as if she were my own and i have known her for 3 years now. She is now 15 and I don't know if I should be concerned , she is always with her father , they are always snuggled on the couch together or in bed together and they are very close , they always kiss each other on the lips when she leaves for school . The spoon a lot and I mean properly spoon , I am the first woman that he has seen since his wife and I don't know if he just loves her or there is something incestuous going on. I think this is very strange as she looks eighteen and is very attractive so is my husband , I find this very weird, I've confronted them on it once before separately and they say that they were always this close.

Please help me , I appreciate you all reading this long post .
Thx Sandra.

OP posts:

LilaBard · 22/08/2017 17:54

Lots of families kiss on the lips (there was a very divided thread about it recently) but spooning with your dad is errmmm.... unusual to put it mildly

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 17:54

areyoumwuite aware of how oddly your post is phrased?

GahBuggerit · 22/08/2017 17:57

Missing on lips fine, spooning a bit odd.

You saying she looks 18 and is attractive as is your husband in this context is fucking weird.

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 18:05

You may not be aware but there are a lot of sick individuals who target this website in particular to get posters to overshare stories about their families, and who get their rocks off hearing about situations where others were sexually abused.

OnionKnight · 22/08/2017 18:44

kali110 · 22/08/2017 18:58

There is nothing wrong with a dad kissing his daughter on the lips.
If it was a mom would you be saying that?
So they snuggle up in bed and on the couch? It's nice they're still close! I used to do this and watch films with my dad and there was nothing disgusting about it!
I think this is very strange as she looks eighteen and is very attractive so is my husband , I find this very weird
What? I don't understand this, what's their looks got to do with it?

SunshineAndSmile · 22/08/2017 19:32

I am hoping that your username is not your real name OP or could be very outing.

In terms of their relationship, kisses hello and goodbye ok, snuggles on the sofa ok, the spooning is a bit weird if it's as you describe.

notapizzaeater · 22/08/2017 19:34

My nearly 15 yr old son still comes and has a cuddle most mornings, nothing sexual at all. There's a difference between 'kissing on the lips' and kissing ....

Whosthemummynow · 22/08/2017 19:37

PollytheDolly · 22/08/2017 19:41

Um......

SerfTerf · 22/08/2017 20:08

Circumlocutor · 22/08/2017 20:48

Suuuure OP.

chowmeinchick · 22/08/2017 20:53

If you seriously think your husband would do something wrong to his daughter, you should leave and help the daughter.

Sounds like he's just close with her. The kissing on the lips is normal for a lot of people and I'm sure a mother kissing her son wouldn't be a problem. Although the spooning is a bit .

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry · 22/08/2017 20:55

Your daughter? You met her when she was 12? Not your daughter.

VelvetKitty · 22/08/2017 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

VelvetKitty · 22/08/2017 22:03

Also it sounds like you might be jealous of the daughter. She's not a threat and you're quite disturbed of even possibly thinking that.

putdownyourphone · 22/08/2017 22:04

You've put your full name as your username

Slowcookerheaven · 22/08/2017 22:05

Not necessarily. It could be a made up name.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 22/08/2017 22:06

In bed? Whose bed?

VelvetKitty · 22/08/2017 22:08

My earlier message was deleted.

Basically OP, it is completely normal behaviour for any parent/child to have physical contact at any age. I kiss both of my parents on the lips. I sit on my dads knee for a cuddle and will lie in bed with my mum and snuggle. Granted we are a very close and open family but that doesn't make our behaviour weird or inappropriate. Maybe not having your own child skews your judgement slightly because only as a parent can you truly understand that 'maternal/paternal love' that never goes away whether the child is 6 months old or 16 years old

ChevalierTialys · 22/08/2017 22:17

I do hope that's not your real name OP. I'd request MNHQ delete this thread if I were you.

BhajiAllTheWay · 22/08/2017 22:23

OP do you think it's more of a possessive thing? My ex had a daughter who became quite clingy as a teen when he and I were together, she'd send him Valentine cards, kiss him and cuddle up at every opportunity which he admitted she never did before. I never thought anything untoward or sinister tbh..and it did fade out when she realised I wasn't "taking him" away.

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