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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Stale mate

3 replies

Girlintheframe · 13/08/2017 15:25

I honestly don't know what to do with my 17 year old son.

He is, at heart, basically a nice lad who if you met would think he was polite and pleasant but this last year his attitude in side the house has changed.

At the moment we are basically at a stale mate. He is incredibly lazy, has failed all his exams and his attitude is awful . I sway between thinking ive been too soft with him to thinking I have been too strict.

He has a college place to begin for later this month but he has done nothing in preparation. He is meant to have ordered kit, found out his time table etc but he hasn't. His attitude to me and his step dad are awful too. He does nothing he is asked, sneaks out past curfew, 'borrowed' money from my bank without asking and his room literally stinks. He has some lovely friends but they consume every second of his time/thoughts. I am fairly relaxed parent and he has his friends over, can go to parties etc.

He has given no regards to getting a job or working towards his future. Last time I tried to ground him he basically left home and went couch surfing. He gets over £100 a month in pocket money from various family members but still he spends every penny and has now basically stolen from me. I cant seem to get him to do anything and feel like he has lost all respect for me and my home. Ive cancelled his phone contract and told him to forget the driving lessons he was going to get but still he doesnt seem to care.

How can i regain some control?

OP posts:
Howlongtilldinner · 13/08/2017 22:43

Watching this with interest OP. I have posted something similar about my DS who's 19.

My DS has never stolen from anywhere/anyone, but he will spend every last cent. He has dropped out of uni after maxing loans, and now is 'looking' for a job.

Unfortunately I cannot give you any advice, just that you are not aloneFlowers

Girlintheframe · 14/08/2017 13:52

Thanks Howlong, its good to know im not the only parent going through this.

I feel like I have failed him so much by not getting him through his exams though in all honesty I dont know what else I could have done.

Some days it just feels like an impossible task...like having an adult toddler.

OP posts:
dadshere · 20/08/2017 20:12

Stop giving him any money full stop- if other family members are giving it to him, get them to stop also
Remove all electrical devices
No friends over, period
no staying at friends' houses.

best of luck

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