I'm really at a loss now what to do - my DS (16) finished his GCSEs in mid-June and is waiting to start 6th form. My mum has always provided childcare for me (I also have 7 year old girl) and spoils the boy rotten. Since the holidays started, he regularly sleeps at her house, stays in bed all day playing games online, and gets his food brought to him on a tray! I've arranged some work experience at my office for him, but he won't do it (says he's too anxious) and got really upset about it. I think that he is being affected by the isolated experience he is living and he needs to get out of it. I've told my mum he has to come home this weekend, and she is sticking up for him saying there is a really important live stream or something he wants to take part in so he wants to stay at hers. I said he can do it at home, but she's saying he'll be really upset and I should listen to him.
I really want to tell her to butt out and tell him that he has to come home this weekend and spend time with us, but I've always struggled with this as I need her for childcare and don't want her to think I'm ungrateful (I do pay her).
I also want to tell him he needs to start doing chores, and must leave the house for at least an hour every day! The problem is, I've let this slide for so long, it's going to be really hard now - is it wrong of me to put my foot down now? I did it during his GCSEs and made him stick to a study schedule and he survived that!
The other problem is that if I do back down at all on him coming home this weekend, that will lead to confrontation with DH! Talk about pulled in all directions...
Any advice welcome!