Struggling with teen - any advice or success stories?

[Nettle12]

I am really struggling with my teens behaviour over the last 4 months or so. She is 14 and has always been quite hard work although manageable but since around April she has become unmanageable.

She smokes, drinks, steals from me, swears, lies, truants, ignores everything I ask/say and pretty much does as she wants.

I have asked the school for help who have set the wheels in motion to try and get us some support and I have asked social services for help who have said to wait and see how we get on with the school.

She has been out with friends today and called in at home to steal some alcohol from me. Obviously I stopped her which lead to her screaming and swearing at me, she then kicked the front door, kicked the car in the drive, tipped over the wheelie bin before screaming a load of insults at me and then disappearing with her friends.

I am always calm with her, I don't let her do what she wants, I have boundaries in place which she ignores, she has no phone, she gets no money from me (although she steals it if I am not quick enough to hide it). I now have all alcohol locked away, all money locked away and have just ordered a safe to keep our valuables in.

I don't know what more I can do. She has no SEN, she just literally does not give a shit about anything or anyone so long as she is doing as she pleases.

Does anyone have any advice or stories of teens that came through the other side? I worry that she is going to end up ruining her life - it is one thing rebelling but what if she does something that will have a permanent impact on her future?

Thanks in advance.

Hey OP so sorry your going through this . My DD was much the same apart from the stealing , she's always been drawn to the "cool" kids who are all doing things they shouldn't be. She is 16 now and had really improved although the summer holidays have been exhausting so far, every night she's out . What's your DD like at school? Do you have people that suppprt you ?

I no this feeling very well had the same with my son for 2 yrs i used to give in all the time to him letting him out giving him his phone bk ect there came to a point where i had enough i had no support from family or anyone one night simething changed in me i liiked the doors hid they keys grounded him he screamed shouted broke things i let it go over my head i rang his coach told him he wasnt going bk i canceld his season ticket i stoped everthing he decided there was no way i was letting him out he stayed in he room for a full week his choice after 8 days off tantrums n all storts he calmed down he said amsorry i sat down snd ecplsined to him i do and say things for his benefit not mine ever since that wekk being grounded me not giving up i let him call me what ever that full week i said nothing apart from grounded ever since hes never give me 1 bit off cheek swore at me he came in when told to i did ask him what changed n he said i didnt no a was making u sad and when i seen u crying a felt bad am sorry n a no that rules ar a good thing ....