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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Damaged computer

17 replies

bengalcat · 07/08/2017 18:21

So kids dad and I ( separated ) at her request club together to buy a joint birthday present - a computer / notebook . Not even 24 hrs later she had a birthday sleepover and a friend accidentally spilt soup on it . Computer is dead .
Obviously all were upset but I said would replace . Her Dad ,an IT geek who'd chosen and bought it online originally , took 50% of the cost of a replacement from me . Absolutely no problem with this for me but now I've just found out that he expects her to reimburse him for his further 50% expenditure ! WTF She's 16 at school but gets an allowance . Dad has no other children to support on a six figure salary with three properties and two cars so finding a spare £165 would be pocket change for him . AIBU WWYD

OP posts:
JudithH · 08/08/2017 11:52

Maybe the sums aren't right but the principle is.

LinoleumBlownapart · 08/08/2017 11:55

What Judith said

jacketej · 08/08/2017 12:01

I think it's the principle also, doesn't matter how much he earns it's taking responsibility for your belongings. At 16 this would be anticipated! As she is verging on adulthood.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 08/08/2017 12:10

I think this is a good way to teach her the value of stuff and to respect it. Not relevant dad has tons of money. Even more important she learns this now. My ds is tech obsessed so you'd think he'd love, cherish and care for it but no. For everything he has I get the whatever happens cover. And we need it . Over. And over. And over. ☹☹☹ he's on his what? 6th, 7th kindle? 6th phone including the one I dropped in the toilet
His attitude. It's ok. It's covered. I don't have to look after it.

That's not what you want!!

Blanketdog · 08/08/2017 17:05

We expect our dcs to contribute to the cost of replacing anything they lose or break - it's a life lesson.

Original poster
bengalcat · 08/08/2017 17:13

Ok I'm clearly in the minority here although I do see where you're all coming from . It's the first time she ever lost/ damaged anything and it wasn't her soup bowl . As it was a special birthday present and happened within 48hours of receiving it I just felt his approach was mean/cruel . Ultimately it's my bill but hey that's fine and am well used to that .

OP posts:
user1492287253 · 08/08/2017 19:01

He is not being unreasonable in some ways but surely you should both have agreed on how to deal. Its surely wrong you paying half and her paying half? If its resonable for her to contribute surely you split the rest between you?

SwedishEdith · 08/08/2017 19:10

Would it not be covered by your home insurance?

I'm all for the principle of kids contributing but the reality is harder to deal with when a) their key source of money is you, b) it's a lot of money so will take a lot of time for her to repay and c) (in this case), it wasn't actually her fault.

Original poster
bengalcat · 08/08/2017 19:44

I've paid my 1/2 she'll pay hers if 'it's enforced ' and I'll compensate her

OP posts:
user1492287253 · 09/08/2017 07:42

I think i would just get the money you have contributed back off ex and resolve it yourself.
In this house more likely than not if it could be repaired or replaced and not directly dc fault ( eg chloe dropped it but had been told not to let anyone else use it), i would do so after a decent interval but expect a contribution of x amount ( maybe a few weeks pocket money).

Original poster
bengalcat · 09/08/2017 13:09

She now has a new one but I was surprised to hear from ex that he expects her to pay ' his 1/2' - there will be no way I can insist on any money from him

OP posts:
BrendaSmith56 · 12/08/2017 23:30

If it was bought on a credit card is there any protection from the cc company? I seem to remember Rowan Atkinson in a Barclaycard advert a few years ago where a wedding gift he bought got damaged.

somewhereovertherain · 12/08/2017 23:35

Sorry I'm with your ex. But then we made our 16 yo buy her own laptop.

FrenchRoast · 13/08/2017 08:14

Worth checking the credit card but there was an exemption for electronic goods on ours.
We always make the dcs contribute a percentage of the cost of their gadgets - it's amazing how much more involved they become in it's care when they've contributed to its cost.

Crumbs1 · 13/08/2017 08:19

It was an accident and no, we wouldn't charge a 16 year old. Is it not insured independently? We've claimed new laptops so often through whatever insurance my husband sets up. They are so easily lost or damaged.

19lottie82 · 13/08/2017 16:18

Of course she should pay half for a replacement! Why shouldn't she.
That's a perfectly fair situation.

Izzabellasasperella · 13/08/2017 17:41

Am I being dim? Why should the op pay half, DD pay half and the ex pay nothing? Surely it should be a third each?

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