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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you let a 13 year old do this?

35 replies

BhajiAllTheWay · 05/08/2017 22:00

He has arranged a meet up ( I say that as he did not ask, he told me) with friends he met at a sport summer camp in their home town a few hours away by train. He wants to travel there with a couple of 16 year olds, spend a day at the other end with these friends and then train journey back. I'm not happy at all. I'd be worried sick and I don't know any of these people? He doesn't see the issue! Would you say yes? say no? I have nobody to run this by.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 05/08/2017 22:02

I'm afraid it would be a no from me - largely because the age difference is significant at 13.

Floggingmolly · 05/08/2017 22:02

No, I would not.

lifeinthecountry · 05/08/2017 22:03

No I definitely wouldn't allow this, too much potential for things to go wrong. He should have asked first, so he could arrange a meet-up you were happy with.

leighdinglady · 05/08/2017 22:05

No. I'd drive him there, say a quick hello to everyone and then leave him to it for the day and pick him up to go home

Sittinginthesun · 05/08/2017 22:05

No. He's too young. I have a 13 year old boy.

lostprince · 05/08/2017 22:06

Absolutely not.

HardPiper · 05/08/2017 22:08

No I'd be on pins all day.

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 05/08/2017 22:08

no because of a couple of hours away on a train.

A few stops away? I wouldn't have an iasue with but I've had a few trips out to pick DD up for various reasons and it's not been fun after a full day at work.

Brownsauceandsausages · 05/08/2017 22:08

Nope!

TizzyDongue · 05/08/2017 22:12

No. Not with that age difference.

A few hour by train would be ok if he were travelling with a established friend who was 13 also and going to another's house (meaning other parent there)

Migraleve · 05/08/2017 22:23

It depends. One of mine would have easily managed this at that age. Is your son used to public transport? Does. He go to your local town alone? If he can cope with it all locally there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to going further afield.

No idea why some people seem to think travelling with 16 year olds is a bad thing?

Original poster
BhajiAllTheWay · 06/08/2017 08:29

He does go around with friends, and thinks he can do everything the older ones do Confusedbut it's within picking up distance.With this I don't know what would be happening when they got off the train at the other end! I'm thinking..what if he didn't reappear home at the given time?? I think its too risky, just needed to know what others thought.

OP posts:
mumof3hyde · 06/08/2017 10:50

As a parent who is very close to DS, I know that 13-16 year olds tend to start mixing and becoming friend - despite the age gap. I see no problem with this, just make sure he know to keep in contact with you and text you.

twoheaped · 06/08/2017 10:53

Yes, I would and have done so.
What I did insist on though was a regular text to 'check in' and if I called she must answer.
I made it very clear if these rules weren't adhered to, it wouldn't be happening again.
She is 15 now and is great with public transport and getting herself around Smile

flumpybear · 06/08/2017 10:54

No way!

teenagetantrums · 06/08/2017 10:55

I might have.depends on the child. Mine were travelling on trains and tubes by themselves at this,age. Does he know what to do if trains are cancelled or suspended. Will you be able to get him home if transport fails. Also will the 16 year olds be drinking/smoking . Mine might have at 16 but not sure they would have wanted a 13 year old with them anyway

iseenodust · 06/08/2017 10:58

No. Only if you had known the 16 yr olds for a number of years.

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2017 11:00

I probably would. But my ds has friends of different ages from youth theatre- so I'm used to it. And I would have expected a discussion first.

Will he be the only younger one there? What are they planning on doing?

RatsInTheWalls · 06/08/2017 11:03

Nope and dh would say the same

MsHarry · 06/08/2017 11:11

No because I don't know who they are, the distance and if they are 16 they are a bit old for him to be hanging around with.

MsHarry · 06/08/2017 11:11

I have a 13 yr old and a 16 yr old btw so can relate.

feathermucker · 06/08/2017 11:12

Possibly, if I knew the older boys.

SeekingSugar · 06/08/2017 11:13

Nope

BigSandyBalls2015 · 06/08/2017 11:16

Tricky. What are they planning to do all day? Something sport related or just hanging about?

SleightOfMind · 06/08/2017 11:16

There are three issues really:

You don't know any of these friends, sounds like he doesn't know them that well either.
The distance they're planning to travel.
The age gap

Any one of those would be fine. All three together is a bit much if things go wrong.