Bedtime

[chrismd1988]

I send my kid to bed at 10:15 in the holidays and he complains. He's a very mature 12 year old and doesn't have a great relationship with me. I know he's up until 2:00 at least so do I just let him do what he wants or punish him?

What time does he think is reasonable? That's quite early.

I guess he is up till 2 on phone or computer game or something. I guess unless you remove them from the room it will be hard.

I take my kids phones off them at bedtime... usually. Often I forget though. They aren't into computer games, thank fully.

I get it though, I waste hours on computer, phone late at night.... just starting now... posed to be working!!

For 12 that seems absolutely reasonable! Let him chill quietly in his room as a compromise but I think for a 12year old 2am is far too late....wake him by 10am if he's sleeping in late imo.

What time does he need to be up in the mornings?

???
You say you don't have a great relationship, why not?

Does he get up at a decent time? Are you sending him to bed and expecting him to sleep?

Is the wifi on?

My rule of thumb is that they can go to sleep as late as they like as long as they can get up early enough to do what's needing done- classes or appointments etc.

At that age I'd have expected around midnight though tbh.

DD2, 12, goes up usually by 9, lights out 9:30.
I like her awake by 9am, up definitely no later than 9:30am otherwise the whole morning disappears before our eyes. It is possible she needs slightly more sleep than average.

My 13 & 15 yr old in bed around 10.30 in hols.

I came on here to ask exactly the same question.....

13 DD thinks I'm being unreasonable as I say she has to go to her bedroom at 10 / 10.15 without her phone - phone stays in the kitchen overnight. DS, 14, doesn't have a problem with the rule and is happy to read for a bit in bed, DD claims she is bored of reading and ALL her friends are online til late at night.

When I asked what time did she think she should stay up til, it was 11pm. I get it's the holidays and we don't need to be up early the next morning but I go to bed at 10 and don't think it's right that DD should go to bed after me!

Am I wrong/unreasonable/boring/worst mum ever?!

wichy, would it help if you asked yourself why you think it is wrong your 13yo should be up after you in the holidays? are you worried about anything she might do? how long do you expect this to last- when she is 15? 16? 17? what happens if you are really tired one day, e.g. slightly unwell- would you expect her to go to bed extra early just so as not to be up after you?

not saying you're wrong, but sometimes it just helps to clarify things if you work out what your rules are for.

Mine choose their own bedtimes and have done since 12

Sometimes they are in bed by 9, sometimes they are up until midnight -but they are pretty good at self regulating and I have no problems with them getting up in the morning