Do anyone else's teenagers contradict them in front of other people and if so why do you think they do it?

[Foxglovesandsweetpeas]

Both of my teenage children will contradict me when I'm talking to my friends. I am not sure why they do it or what they gain from it. If I was lying or exaggerating I wouldn't mind but it's when I'm recalling a true story and they butt in with things like "no that never happened" and make me look like a complete liar. I wonder if it's because they remember things differently or they like trying to make me look silly. Other than that I don't particularly have any problems with them. My husband says I shouldn't worry about it and to just laugh it off. I'd just be interested to know if it happens to anyone else?

Perhaps you are wrong

I teach teenagers and there are a couple who just like to argue every thing for no apparent reason. They irritate me immensely. Constantly trying to make everyone around them look stupid.

Mine have done this and I've just give more specific details about the event and joke about them being senile

Mine do this too. It's very irritating but I think is normal teen behaviour for some

Mine too

They do it because they know it pushes your buttons. One of mine used to do this. Thankfully he grew out of it, but it was so irritating.

Could other be that you arrested embarrassing them? A funny story to you could be cringe worthy for them...all deserved of course

My 13 year old contradicts me almost compulsively 😯. I've learned to take it with a pinch of salt now, but it's really annoying

Do the stories involve them?

I know at that age, as cliche as it is, my mother really didn't understand me at all, so in every story that involved me she'd ascribed me with all these character traits and motivations that were way, way off. Everything was sort of filtered through that, so we had radically different ideas about things that had happened or been said. She thought she was right, I thought (and still think) we must have been living on two different planets.

Next time they correct you, ask them to share their perspective. If they never have anything to say to that they're just being annoying, but if they do you might learn a lot.

Hmmm I wouldn't like this because it's like saying that you're lying.
Next time it happens ask them to tell it "oh so you have the correct version then? Go on then enlighten us!" Or words to that effect and then you can butt in with your own contradictions

It's normal teenager behaviour. They tend to have a different perspective on pretty much everything. I remember doing it to my mum (way back in the late 80s) when her spin on a situation wasn't quite the same as mine. It's just part of the developmental process, they are asserting their own view on the world. Annoying as it may be, it's a good thing, she's developing independence of thought. She may not always be right, but hey ho, it's a process

what consequences have you put in place for this rudeness?

Thanks everyone - really helpful as always.

cdtaylornats - no I'm not wrong - the reason I posted this was because I was upset that it occurs when I'm telling the truth.

I think that as dramaalpaca says they like to push my buttons sometimes and also as others said they probably don't always enjoy me telling stories that involve them.

User1497480444 I posted about this last night because it had happened yesterday and when my son and I were on our own I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of his rude behaviour. He later came and apologised.

My ds (12) corrects me in a very pedantic manner but I think he's just a bit pedantic and has yet to learn when the accuracy of details matter and when they don't!

Because they feel both responsible and embarrassed for everything you say or do. So they try to take control.

That's what I think anyway (have 2 teen boys)

OhCrepe and Therealslimshady1 - thank you, you both make very good points there and yes my teenagers are very easily embarrassed - they don't even like it if I stop to ask people directions if we're lost etc. I never really socialised with my parents as a teenager as my parents didn't really have friends and were very anti social, particularly my mum, but I imagine that if I had I would have found a lot of what she said excruciating!

This is my first ever post on mumsnet and I'm so glad I posted as it's very reassuring to get such good advice and different peoples' perspectives on the situation - and also to find out that other people have experienced it too. Thanks everyone :)

Because they're teenagers and they know everything. You are just an old gimmer on the edge of senility.

Well done for getting an apology, I doubt my DS knows the meaning of the word.

I call my daughter gert-rude when she tried this

Now she is 17 it's more difficult my responses range from I'm talking to OY rude girl !

I used to do this to mum and it certainly wasn't to push her buttons.
I. My mind she had exaggerated or recalled something slightly wrong and it really irritated me that she'd relay it wrong and as a teenager with bad impulse control I'd correct her .
Nothing is more irritating to a teen than their mum talking about them.

I only realised when I said oh stop being so pedantic and he looked a bit hurt and said but it was 20 past not half past or whatever and he was just joining in his way bless him.

On the other hand he has started giving people genuine compliments like I like your necklace which shows a lovely interest in other people.

I think it's because we have learnt (over the years) the art of retelling an incident, giving an overview of it without the need for precise information and maybe adding in a little quip here and there to liven the antidote up BUT the teens wouldn't relay the same antidote the same way, elaborate on certain areas of approximate on others.

So when you tell the story, to them it's not factual and they then interrupt. I always say " who's telling the story?" or "do you want to tell it?" with a raise eyebrow :)

They don't do it because they like to be argumentative, the only reason they would have done it is if you constantly twist the truth while talking to friends, which a lot of people do actually.

Mine do it too, luckily most of my friends teens do it and they totally understand!
When it happens I find there o point in getting into a debate and I back off straight away.
Sometimes I think they do it as other people said to avoid embarrassment but sometimes the story is not even about them in any way and I think it's their way of trying to join in to adult conversation (albeit rudely)

My older son now 22 used to drive me mad doing it but has got past that now and never does it anymore, so there's hope

Britainteascones - Actually they do quite like being argumentative and I reiterate that they do it when I am telling the absolute truth.

Bellylaugsh - Thanks, it's reassuring to hear that other peoples' kids do it too and that they (eventually) grown out of it.