Update;
Since I last posted I tried to give my son lots of love and affection, I eased up on the discipline, just expecting him home by 8pm and gave him opportunities to earn back privileges, etc. I don't really regret having him, but there are times when I simply don't feel able to cope.
Things finally came to a head when he was caught shoplifting and charged with that and for attacking another boy his own age (he is now 14). Soon after that he stole cash from my wallet (not the first time) and from his step-sister who is 15 and has a little job. This infuriated me. Money has been going missing for a long time along with other things like his younger step-sister's chewing gum - might seem a small thing, but along with everything else it shows how he has no respect for other people's property.
I decided to search his bag for his step-sister's money when he was asleep, and once again I found cannabis and tobacco along with the money. I hid them. In the morning, when he found them gone he went crazy; shouting, swearing, pushing me, demanding it all back. He started trashing the house, threw my mobile and laptop out of the back door, and would have done the same to my tablet if I hadn't held on really tight. He pushed me over, fortunately onto an armchair as I was attempting to call the police on my husband's phone. My husband was afraid to intervene because in the past my son has accused him of assault.
Eventually he sat out in the back garden and the police took him away. He had also punched the wall so hard that they had to take him to the hospital and he had broken a growth plate in his hand.
Again social services were useless. I got so distressed I seriously contemplated killing myself just to end the pain. My husband had gone to work and i was crying the sort of weeping where you can't breath anymore. I was hysterical. I kept thinking how easy it would be to just cut my wrists and let it all go. Luckily my friend called and I admitted to her what I was feeling. She took me to the GP and within a few days I ended up on a Mental Health ward. I just got out yesterday. Even while I was there social services were on my case demanding I find somewhere for my son to stay as my husband was refusing to allow him back in the family home, and my dad and step-mum also felt they couldn't manage his wild behaviour and thieving.
The police had to keep him overnight because social services wouldn't collect him. Luckily they all know him well due to his previous issues and they have been marvellous, patient, caring, etc. They put him up in the police station on the sofa. Eventually social services put him into a foster placement about 20 miles away and every school day he refuses to get in the taxi, running into town to hand out with his druggie pals. Then the police have to pick him up and taxi him to the foster home.
I know it sounds horrible but I dread having him back. I want him back desperately, but I don't know if I can live with his behaviour. As I write, he is missing. The police came looking for him earlier. It is now past midnight and I have no idea where he is or if he is safe. It's just constant worry, stress, ibs, nausea, headaches, tears, indigestion and panic attacks. Social services are back on the case, wanting him to come home but they say they aren't responsible for offering support.
Why is there no help??????? I see on here that there are so many other parents struggling.