The silent treatment by 'friends'

[OwlBeBack]

Long story but I'll try to condense, DD is in year 9 and this weekend her friends all went bowling and didn't invite her. We bumped into them as we were in the same leisure complex (not bowling). Awkward laughter, not a lot was said, but DD messaged friend after asking why wasn't she invited.

No answer received and today every single 'friend' is blanking her.

I don't know what to advise her to do. She is also being low level bullied by another student at school which I have encouraged DD to report as it's escalating.

The friends have form for this kind of behaviour. A few months ali they ignored her for weeks then they started talking to her and she was so grateful, she never asked them why or how they could treat her like that.

What would you advise DD to do?

Just noticed more replies so a little update. 'Friends' continued to ignore her and then tried turning the tables saying she'd started the whole thing and was being petty. She's been polite to them but changed her social media so she's not seeing their constant updates about being out together and she's got a volunteering opportunity at a sports club. It was her first night last night and she came home really happy and positive.

She's also on a waiting list to join her local athletics club and I've arranged private counselling to help her through a tough time (there's a lot of issues with regards to an absent father that need dealing with as well).

So, it's been a bit sad but she's doing well and I'm hopeful.

Sorry for anyone with a son or daughter going through the same thing. Thanks for the advice everyone.

Sorry to hear all this crap your DD (and you) going through Owl. I think the main things to focus on when you chat is that girls this age can be very mean, and in the cold light of day this is not pleasant behaviour to be dishing out to anyone. It's probably best not to give them the satisfaction of knowing it's causing her any bother and begging them for an explanation of why they are being cows. They are cows, that's the explanation! She should avoid (not ignore) them if at all possible and find someone more pleasant to be with. Are there any pastoral staff at school who can help at all to keep an eye on things?

My DD had a long struggle with finding friends both at home and school (has never really found any at home but that's a long story!) but luckily we found a local martial arts club that she enjoyed every weekend and it gave her some confidence. So I would definitely keep looking for a local club/church group/volunteering etc Good luck with that.

The bottom line is the best thing she can do is behave pleasantly to people and if they want to be vile it's their own sad choice. She'll find pleasant people eventually, unfortunately it sometimes takes time.

Best wishes to you both, thinking of you.