15yr old DS failing at school

[CrabbyJo]

I'm at the end of my tether, and don't know where to turn. DS 15 has always struggled with school. Unfortunately, like me, he's just not academic. Had a meeting with school and was agreed he'd attend 5 homework club sessions a week ( x2 lunchtimes x3 after school ) to help him catch up on work. But he "forgets" to go to most of them. I've had numerous long talks with him but it's just not sinking in. I'm getting calls at work at least weekly from his teachers but they're not offering up any solutions and claim he's just lazy. Aside from giving up work and escorting him to every session myself I don't know what else to do. Anyone experienced similar and/or have some advice?

samlovesdilys my meeting and emails have been to both a tutor and head of year. Sorry but what is PP ? Summer catch up is a great idea. I think I'll be more relieved than him when he finishes for summer plus he tries so hard at weekends with school work when he's relaxed. Thank you, you've been really helpful.

What are his strengths? Is it worth looking at training he can do next year and the entry requirements?

Squishedstrawberry4 he's really good at art and design & technology. He's moved up a set in maths this term which is promising as he's interested in carpentry and maths helps with that apparently.

I teach a few pupils who have similar worries and it can build up. Some will attend one to one sessions I run for them, to catch up and go through work. Others will repeatedly not attend and a massive amount of support is given.
Sorry OP, but it is not the teachers' job to keep reminding him. To some extent, he needs to develop responsibility. Does his school run study clinics where it is subject specific? Again, I can think of pupils who are repeatedly asked to attend but never seen, sadly.
The apprenticeship schemes look like a good option. I attended a training session on how to develop these in school and was very impressed.

It was the teachers idea to remind him until the end of this term, their suggestion, not mine.

No study clinic as far as I'm aware which is why I wanted to pay a tutor as he needs one on one I feel. Only basing that on him at home, in a household of four he doesn't really participate unless it's one on one.

super Your experience mirrors mine.
Support is available but it's not our job to chase for it.
I'd be a millionaire if I had £1 for every time parents have asked for intervention/ support, I tell them what is available and then the student didn't attend. Anecdotally, I find that the parents who are the most demanding about staff providing extras (that we don't have to!) are the ones whose children don't attend. The parents who are quietly supportive and thank us for what we offer, their kids attend as and when they need it and all is good. I think the first group of parents think that demanding school run endless classes in gcse on the off chance it suits their child to attend is going to compensate for all the laziness/ disorganisation built up over time.

I offer the support once a week. Take it or don't. But I'm not chasing people to attend. It's there for people who WANT to be there.

I haven't demanded anything. We were offered homework club. Why should parents "quietly accept"???

And I'd hardly call detention renamed as homework club "support"
I don't think you've read any of my comments, you're pissed off with your job and making assumptions.

I haven't said you are demanding OP.
I have said I think you have different ideas of what a homework club is. As i have said, every school I've worked in homework club is a supervised space to do homework to help children who are disorganised or might need a quiet place. Staff can help them prioritise their work but it is NOT somewhere where staff sit and go through it with students. You seem to think this is a detention.

I have also said study plans are good.
I have also suggested mentoring.
I have also said it's worth seeking an assessment to see if there is an additional need.
I also think that yes some of the responsibility should be on home and the student not asking what school are doing all the time and then deciding you aren't happy because your child isn't having teachers go through homework with him.

Don't declare I'm pissed off at my job! I've simply made an observation that in our line of work we encounter a reasonable number of people who demand extras that arent a right when their children don't even access what's already available.

You say "why should parents quietly accept?". I didn't think you were demanding earlier (just had a different idea of what homework club entails). That statement starts to speak volumes.

What you think should happen is that staff who teach hundreds of students should focus on telling your child how to study, remind him to go to homework club that's there to help study (but you think it's a detention even though homework club is optional and detention is a sanction), you think staff should sit and go through his homework with him, staff should sort out his disorganisation.
What if all 250 Y11s wanted that every year?

The school contacted me to say he's behind on a number of subjects. They suggested homework club. They gave the impression it was essentially time where he'd be given support with catching up. They suggested raising it to five sessions a week, which incidentally is too much. I asked if they thought getting a private tutor may help, to which they laughed and replied " you've got the best tutors sitting right in front of you". He is not lazy as they have repeatedly said. He is clearly struggling and overwhelmed and they won't even entertain that he could benefit from SEN assessment. And I don't think staff should sit and go through homework with him nor have I requested or demanded any such thing. The only thing I'm not happy with is the fact they gave the impression he'd get more support at these sessions when that is not the case and have now raised it to five sessions which isn't helping.
And actually you said you were jumpy and grumpy due to similar issues which to me, equates to the same as being pissed off.

And he's year 10

Incidentally, I support him at home with homework. I don't do it for him but I support. Like I've already said, he is better one on one in life in general, not just school work, hence wanting to get him a tutor.

It might be worth looking at executive functioning disorder
www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/executive-functioning-issues/understanding-executive-functioning-issues

Hi, it sounds like you are really trying to help, believe me that is a fab first step with parents. I have found 1:1 tutoring can help - not just catching up but also building confidence which, bless him, must be at an all time low.
PP is Pupil Premium, schools get a extra chunk of money for certain students to help close the educational gap with their peers. Criteria is complicated, lower household income, access to benefits, forces children etc. You can google exacts but worth an ask!!
Please just make sure he knows what needs to be done before you Break up or you will both worry for 6 weeks which won't help. Best of luck x

Romain1 Thank you, I'll read up on the link.

samlovesdilys Thank you for not judging and assuming I'm a naive and demanding parent. And also for actually reading what I've said and not presuming he is lazy and disorganised.
I'll look into PP although I don't think we'll meet the criteria as aren't in receipt of benefits etc, as both parents work full time. But I will google it.
Yes, good idea to have an exact plan of what we need to be doing over the summer.
I have another meeting with the school the week before summer break so hopefully that will help.
Thank you for your help, you've no idea how much it's helped and I really do appreciate it, thank you x

Is the problem with the homework club that he gets stuck on his hwk/needs support with it but there's no one to ask?
I think the tutor sounds like an excellent idea. They could help him with hwk as well as going over concepts he struggles with.

And actuallyyousaid you were jumpy and grumpy due to similar issues which to me, equates to the same as being pissed off.
I'm grumpy about similar issues. For every reasonable person who's supportive and up for dialogue there's another 2-3 who say/do everything I've mentioned.
It doesn't mean I'm pissed off at my job though.
It means I get fed up with people calling up to complain that a session I run voluntarily is on once a week, then want a 2nd one on 'because so and so can't do that day', then we get calls saying it's unfair their children are in intervention, then we get letters like 'so and so couldn't do their homework again because... can you provide catch up time'. So yes, I do get grumpy because a minority of people seem to take up a huge amount of my time that I could spend actually teaching.
It also means that I'm cautious about how much schools are expected to do by some parents that (certainly when I was at school) used to be the responsibility of children and parents.
So in your situation, I think the school are being unreasonable not considering a SEN assessment and being ridiculous about a tutor, but I think you're unreasonable expecting more from the homework club.

You've said it yourself he benefits from 1-1. The only way to reasonably get 1-1 is a tutor.

Hi Crabby, I second what all the others are saying about working to get to the bottom of what his issues are. It sounds that for whatever reasons he has become disengaged with school and he will need some support in getting back there. Educational psychologist or private assessment can help to ascertain whether add or executive function lagging. But do expect to have to battle a bit with the school as they don't have the resources.

I mean battle in a persistent non aggressive way of course

I would get a tutor even for a while as might help his confidence to. Also for homework club l would myself pick out specific things you want him to do there eg a chapter of history. Together at home make it into a list of points and then say learn that this evening in club and we will go over it again when you get home. I had to do similiar with my guy at 14 as has dyspraxia so all over the place with stuff like that at that age. I literally had to train him how to study . He is bright and learnt well that way. Sounds like he is overwhelmed in club and no idea where to start. To encourage you..by the time he finished he had study techniques down to a t..and is now at university doing really well..This only works if he feels you are on his side and understand his difficulties without talking about them..lm a primary teacher so that helped but his own teachers in school mostly savaged him calling him lazy and never getting him at all. They were shocked at his final results.
So tutor and break it down for him for club with a list of things to do.